Oh, why did I decide to make this complicated dish tonight? I picked up the saucepan as the onions started to smoke. They’d curled into tiny black slivers, and I knew my kids would reject them. Upset with myself, I chucked the onions in the garbage disposal, knocking over my water glass. Ugh! I then blurted out a word (yes, totally one of my bad habits!) as water soaked the keyboard to my laptop. I knew I should’ve printed the recipe. As if on cue, my 3-year-old, sitting at the table with crayons, picked up her head and started repeating the bad word I’d just said.
Like it or not, when parenting our kids, they repeat what they see and hear. Let’s work on not passing along these 5 bad habits to our kids. Are you with me?
1. A Bad Attitude
Maybe you’ve experienced a stretch of difficult parenting? And the stress and worry of it all has gotten you down. You’ve succumbed to a bad attitude because you’re frustrated, you’re not getting the help you need, or you’ve had a string of unfortunate incidents. But if you’ve fallen into the trap of complaining or badmouthing others, that sort of attitude is going to rub off on those around you.
Look, I get it. I’ve been there too. It’s normal to go through ups and downs in life. But if you’re feeling stuck right now, maybe you need to do more to take care of yourself. Find someone to talk to—a friend, a pastor, your hair stylist. Seriously. I’ve found that when I share with others, I realize I’m not alone. And the comfort I receive from having a sympathetic ear goes a long way to recharge my batteries.
2. An Uncontrolled Temper
We’ve all lost it now and then, so don’t beat yourself up. Just resolve to handle tense or tricky situations better. I’ve found that when my temperature’s rising, I need to leave the room. A cold washcloth on my face also helps. Yelling at the kids is a bad habit, but it’s not something you can’t change. And be honest with them: “Kids, listen. I’m trying really hard not to lose my cool. If I get upset, I’m going to walk away to calm myself down.”
If your kids know you’re working on it, that’ll give them the message they can work on things in their lives too. It’s never too late to make a change.
3. Unhealthy Eating Habits
OK, I admit it: I love a good fast-food burger. But I know they’re not healthy for me or my kids, so I gradually weaned myself off the drive thru. I miss those little morsels of white bun goodness, but I know it’s better for all of us if I set an example of healthy eating.
Try setting new, healthy-eating goals with your family. Solicit their input. Should we put a basket of apples on the counter? Or get a nifty banana hook to hang a bunch where everyone can see them? Working with your kids and husband to kick bad habits can make it easier to stick to new ones.
Print out our free Floral Habit Tracker to get started with some new, healthy habits for your family!
4. Dishonesty
Have you been tempted to lie about your kid’s age so he can get a cheaper ticket or eat off the kids’ menu? I think the temptation is there for us all. But if we’re dishonest, our kids notice. And they learn it’s OK because Mom is doing it. If we want our kids to be honest with the big things, it starts with us being a good example and staying honest in the little things.
When you think about the huge impact you’ll have on your kid’s character for sticking with the truth at all costs, it’s worth the price. Don’t you think?
5. Disrespect
When I’m tired, I sometimes lose my filter with my husband and say things I regret later. And being careless with my words around my husband sends a message to my kids that I don’t respect him. That’s not what I want to do. It can influence how they treat their dad—and others too.
When you show your love, playfulness, and respect for your husband, you provide your kids with a huge advantage in life. “Children who grow up in secure and loving families are more confident and bold, and better-equipped to enter the ‘real’ world when the time comes,” says marriage and family counselor Stuart Fensterheim. So, let’s kick the bad habit of saying whatever comes to mind and choose kindness and gentleness with our husbands (and others) more often.
What are some other bad habits we need to keep from passing down to our kids?
