Youth pastors and teachers have said it a million times: they can contribute to the person your child will become, but the lion’s share of the influencing will be done by you, the parents. Even more, it’s not just what you say to your child about how to live—it’s mostly what you do. Grounded, stable parents usually produce grounded, stable kids. So what does it mean to be a grounded parent?
1. Be grounded in your faith. If you want your child to one day embrace and live the values of your faith, it will take far more than dropping him off for youth group once a week, or even sending him to a faith-based school. Kids, by and large, turn out like their parents—like it or not. If you attend church regularly, they likely will in adulthood. If you refrain from or embrace certain behaviors based upon your religious beliefs, you can expect them to do the same. Even if they stray from your model during the college or young adult years, most young people eventually return to the way they think adult life is supposed to be lived based upon the only example they’ve studied up close: you.
2. Have a grounded marriage. Marriage is one of those areas of life where your example is pretty much the only input your children will receive. How you and your spouse treat one another hard wires your children to believe “this is the way it’s done.” If you and your husband are verbally abusive or disrespectful to one another, they’ll likely follow your lead. On the flip side, if all they’ve ever seen in a marriage is mutual respect and selfless love, they’ll think of that as the standard, and expect it in their own marriages.
3. Have a grounded view of success. How you operate in your professional life is not lost on your kids. If they see you sacrificing everything (family time, etc.) to grab the brass ring, it communicates that professional success is to be achieved at all costs. If they observe a balanced approach where hard work is valued, but success is defined by more than salaries and promotions, it will help them view their own work life in light of the bigger picture.
4. Being financially grounded. One of these days your kids will have to develop a philosophy on how to handle money, and much of their approach will be drawn from what you’ve modeled and taught. If you live a life in which you depend heavily on credit, or buy now and think/worry later, they will probably follow suit. Demonstrate some financial savvy and restraint, and you may one day be proud of how money-smart your children are.
