“He’s so cute, but he sleeps a lot!” was the keen observation my sons made about their new half-brother. It brought me back to when they were little, and I felt like all I did was feed them, change them, and put them back down. I was often tempted, especially as they got out of the newborn stage, to stretch their wake windows so we could play or run errands. Giving in to the temptation always led to disaster and tears all around.
Since sleeping is your baby’s main job description, it’s important to take it seriously. I’m not saying you need to schedule it down to the minute, but being smart about sleep will help your little one’s brain and body grow, not to mention make life easier when everyone’s eyes are open. So here’s what you need to know about wake windows and how to use them well.
What are wake windows?
Think of your baby as a tiny, adorable time bomb. She has a certain amount of time she can be awake before she turns into a crying, fussy (albeit adorable) mess. That time is her wake window. If it’s too short, she’s not sleepy; too long, and she’s cranky. It might seem counterintuitive that staying awake longer would make it hard for your baby to sleep, but when a baby becomes overtired, her body produces cortisol, the alert hormone, which makes it hard for her to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Let’s talk numbers.
Keep in mind, these are general guidelines from Happiest Baby for infants in these age ranges. Yours might be a super sleeper or a party animal.
Newborns (0–2 months): Newborns are little sleep machines. Their wake windows are short and sweet, usually around 45 to 60 minutes. That’s why it can feel like life with a newborn is a continuous cycle of feed, burp, diaper, crib.
2–4 months: Their wake windows can stretch to one to two hours. This means you might actually have time for a quick chat with your baby—you know, talk about the weather—before you put her back down to sleep.
4–6 months: Their wake windows are around 90 minutes to two-and-a-half hours. This is when sleep time starts to look more like nap time.
6–8 months: They’re little explorers now! Wake windows can be anywhere from two to three hours.
8–12 months: As they approach the one-year mark, your busy bees can handle two-and-a-half to four hours of awake time.
12 months and up: She’s on the brink of toddlerhood, which means wake windows can be as long as four to five hours.
Every baby is unique. If your little one is consistently fussy or struggling to sleep, even if she’s over a year, you might have to make adjustments.
How do you work with wake windows?
Pay attention to your baby. Your baby likely has your full attention, but look for cues that she’s tiring like reduced activity, yawning, pulling at ears, staring, blinking, and eye-rubbing.
Watch the clock. A word of warning from moms (including this one) who have done it wrong: Don’t assume your baby has to look or act tired to be ready to go down for a nap. If she’s showing signs of tiredness, it’s often too late, and you’ve stretched the window too long. Use the clock as your guide.
Observe when your timing is off. It should take a max of 15 minutes for your baby to fall asleep if you’re in the appropriate wake window. If you know by the clock that you didn’t stretch her awake time too long, then you probably need to lengthen it. Start small, like 10 to 15 minutes.
Be slow to respond. I’m not saying you should ignore a screaming baby, but if she wakes up 10 minutes before the end of her naptime and is cooing or playing with a toy, don’t rush in. Knowing that mama doesn’t come as soon as she makes a noise can help her nap longer. And sometimes babies wake up and fall right back to sleep, so your intervention could actually take away some needed sleepy time.
Remember baby’s sleep time is also Mommy and Daddy’s rest time. You’ve been waiting months, maybe years to meet this child, so of course you want to hang out! But remember, her sleep is not only essential for her rapid growth and development—it’s also time for you to breathe, rest, talk to your husband, wash your hair… While she’s growing, you’re recuperating, so take advantage of all that shut-eye.
How have you worked your baby’s sleep schedule into your lifestyle?
