My dejected sixth-grader walked out of the middle school dance alone, the gym doors closing with a thud. “I didn’t have anyone to talk to,” my teary-eyed child said. When our kids are down, we have to let them feel their feelings. But we can also help them. After that dance, I needed to use the power of anticipation to help blunt the pain of a middle school dance gone wrong. I had to shift my kid’s focus from the disappointment of the present to the anticipation of good things in the future.
What’s the power of anticipation? It gives our children hope. A study in the Journal of Mental Health found that having something positive to look forward to helps us better handle current stressors. Here are 4 ways to make the power of anticipation work for your kids.
1. Spotlight the future.
What’s on your family’s calendar? A sports tournament? A visit from grandparents? A trip to an amusement park? When you have something special coming up, talk it up. Have your kids draw a picture about what they’re looking forward to. Start a countdown calendar.
2. Create anticipation.
If you don’t have anything big on your calendar, work with what you have. Use the power of anticipation to hype up and spice up routine things the kids already look forward to—take the kids to the grocery store on Thursday after school to pick out special snacks for a Friday movie night or remind your kids on Sunday that Taco Tuesday is coming, and you’re going let them put food coloring in their cheese!
3. Take it month by month.
Sit down with your kids and come up with twelve things they’d like to learn or do this year, one for each month. Juggling? Tackling a hacky sack? Origami? Making jam? Building a model airplane? Once you’ve agreed on 12 things, write them on individual slips of paper and put them in a hat. Let the kids draw them out. The first one will be your January activity, the next, February, and so on. Presto! You now have 12 things to fuel the power of anticipation. Be sure to keep the activities front and center, like on the fridge or in a fun frame on each child’s nightstand so they remember what to anticipate.
4. Anticipate the small, medium, and large.
The power of anticipation comes in many sizes. Each day, ask your children to tell you three things they’re looking forward to: one small, one medium, and one large. For example: Small, getting frozen yogurt after school. Medium, spending the night with their cousins next weekend. Large, getting a new puppy in a few months. The power of anticipation helps our children see that even if they’re feeling blah or discouraged today, there are good things ahead.
What is something you’re looking forward to?
