You’ve probably heard a lot of buzz recently about anxiety. It’s been in the U.S. Surgeon General’s advisories regarding the mental health of kids and parents. It’s also been a character in Disney Pixar’s hit movie Inside Out 2. Social media influencers are talking about it (and helping people diagnose themselves, whether we like it or not), and you might’ve heard it roll off your kid’s tongue if she’s said she’s anxious about an upcoming social event or presentation. It’s become a word many of us use freely, but not all of us truly understand. So when we start to worry about our kids and their response to challenging situations, we may wonder if they have childhood anxiety.
“Anxiety is your body’s natural reaction to stress,” according to Healthline. “It’s a feeling of fear or apprehension about what’s to come.” At some point, most people experience varying levels of anxiety. But if kids don’t learn how to cope and the anxiety persists, it can become more serious. Here are 6 things to know if you think your child might be dealing with anxiety, or if you are curious about childhood anxiety and what it is.
1. Mild, occasional, or intermittent anxiety is normal.
Your child has probably worried or stressed out about an upcoming recital or quiz at some point in his life. That’s normal, and most of us can relate. Anxiety takes that stress up a notch. PsychCentral explains the difference between stress and anxiety really well: “Stress is a physiological and behavioral response to an immediate threat or challenge. Anxiety is an emotional feeling and psychological state anticipating the possibility of harm.”
So if he’s worried about the game on Saturday, that’s pretty normal. It’s when he worries about never being good enough or enters the gray area of what ifs that you may have a kid experiencing childhood anxiety: What if I don’t score a goal? What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I can’t do it?
2. An anxiety disorder is a mental health condition that requires intervention.
Some online sites and social media influencers refer to anxiety, but don’t explain what they mean in terms of seriousness. Anxiety itself is a normal response to stress, and most people will experience anxiety at different times in their lives. But not everyone who has anxiety has a mental health condition. If a resource states a statistic or refers to someone as having been “diagnosed with anxiety,” it means they have an anxiety disorder. A disorder is more than temporary worry or fear, clarifies NYU Langone Health. Some specific anxiety disorders include social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and separation anxiety disorder.
If your child experiences some anxiety now and then, it’s probably a normal response to feeling stressed about something like schoolwork or a friendship problem. But if it worsens and doesn’t go away, you may want to talk with a healthcare professional to have him assessed and treated for an anxiety disorder.
3. An anxiety disorder impacts daily functioning.
If you suspect your child may have anxiety, ask yourself if it impacts her day-to-day functioning. Is she irritable? Does she have excessive fear or worries that go beyond what you think are typical? Does she have trouble concentrating on things like homework or while she’s in class? Is she often tired during the day? Childhood anxiety can also show up in the body with stomach aches, headaches, heart palpitations, sweating, and an overwhelming feeling of impending doom. In severe cases, a child may refuse to go to school, attend social events, or separate from you.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, “For people with an anxiety disorder, the anxiety does not go away and can get worse over time.” But recognizing the signs and symptoms of anxiety is the first step to helping your child.
4. Generalized anxiety disorder is one of the most common mental disorders.
If your child has generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), she may worry excessively about a variety of things like grades, performance in sports or extracurriculars, friendship and family issues, health, and world affairs. She may be really hard on herself, too, and strive for perfection. A child may also “seek constant approval or reassurance from others,” says the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Those who’ve been diagnosed with GAD “may worry more than seems warranted about actual events or may expect the worst even when there is no apparent reason for concern.”
With GAD, worry is hard to control, and a sign your child has it is if worry occurs most days for six months or more. Kids with excessive worries may even think that worrying is helpful and have a hard time breaking the worry cycle. This is why seeking treatment and professional guidance to combat these worries is essential.
5. Some anxiety can be beneficial.
Not all anxiety is bad. The anxious feelings a child might have as his piano recital approaches or as he heads into something unknown, like summer camp, could be helpful. With a recital around the corner, a child might put in more practice time to prepare so he knows his music well when he gets on stage. And with camp, a child might be a little more guarded at first, at least until he gets the lay of the land. With these examples, anxiety serves a child in a positive way–even though it might not feel great going through it. “Anxiety is designed to protect us from danger,” says Amen Clinics. Anxious people tend to be more careful and cautious, says the author Alice Boyes, PhD. And, she argues, these traits can then turn into conscientiousness.
Help your child formulate a plan, so her worries don’t get out of control. Together, discuss how much practice she needs before a recital. Or, teach her how to set up her bunk before she heads off to camp.
6. Mild anxiety and anxiety disorders are both treatable.
So, it’s not unusual to have feelings of anxiety here and there. But it’s helpful to teach our kids coping strategies when they’re feeling mildly anxious. Switching gears to an activity that’s more enjoyable can help, like listening to music, coloring, playing with LEGOS, or reading. Other things like going outside, getting exercise, making healthy food choices, giving hugs, and talking are all good coping mechanisms.
But for those who have more persistent anxious thoughts or an anxiety disorder, finding a psychologist or psychiatrist for more individualized treatment might be necessary. “‘Anxiety disorders are one of the most treatable mental health problems we see,’ says Dr. Daniel Pine, an NIH neuroscientist and psychiatrist. ‘Still, for reasons we don’t fully understand, most people who have these problems don’t get the treatments that could really help them.’” Your child may benefit from some short-term medications, from “talk therapy,” or a combination of both. Dr. Pine says many kids with anxiety disorders outgrow their conditions. But it’s really important to listen to your child and get him the help he needs.
If someone you know has childhood anxiety, how are they handling it?
