I started Googling “back-to-school tips” the year before my oldest daughter started elementary school. I found all the helpful hacks, like labeling water bottles and prepping lunches on Sundays. Those tips helped with the logistics, but I’ve learned that real school readiness goes deeper than checklists and new sneakers.
What our kids really need is emotional readiness—confidence, resilience, and the social smarts to navigate a classroom full of personalities. And those skills aren’t built overnight. They grow in the small, everyday moments when we teach our kids to be brave, kind, and connected. So if you’re looking for more than just what to pack in their backpacks, here are 7 not-so-obvious back-to-school tips to get your child truly ready for the school year ahead.
1. Normalize failing.
Helping your child see failure as part of learning is one of the best ways to build resilience. It also protects your kid’s heart from the toxic achievement culture that fuels anxiety in older kids. When failure isn’t feared, kids are more likely to try again. At my daughters’ elementary school, they teach that FAIL stands for “First Attempt at Learning.” That simple idea reframes mistakes as growth.
Try this: Share your “fail moments,” like when you burned dinner or called a client by the wrong name. Talk about what you learned and how you bounced back. Then, when your child makes a mistake, remind him: “This is just your first attempt at learning.” Ask, “What did you learn?” and “What will you try next time?” Those simple questions help him reflect, adjust, and keep going.
2. Prep her for the little things that feel big.
The school day comes riddled with all kinds of little challenges, like not being able to open a thermos or accidentally leaving her water bottle on the playground after recess. These might seem small to us, but to a kid, they can feel huge with a capital H. Talking through these moments ahead of time helps your child feel more confident and capable when they pop up.
Try this: Play the “What If?” game during dinner or in the car. Toss out scenarios like, “What if you spill your yogurt?” “What if you leave your jacket on the bus?” or “What if someone says you can’t play sharks and minnows with them?” Then brainstorm together what she could say or do. It’s one of those back-to-school tips that builds courage and problem-solving skills—before she needs them.
3. Teach him to talk to grown-ups without freezing.
You know the phrase “like a deer in headlights”? I think it should be renamed “like a kid in front of a grown-up.” So many kids freeze up when they need to speak to someone in authority. But being able to talk to adults—whether to ask for help, answer a question, or request a bathroom break—is a big part of school success.
Try this: At home, practice go-to phrases like “Excuse me, I have a question” or “I need help with this, please.” Then look for chances to practice in real life. Let him order his food at the drive-thru or say “hello” and “thank you” at the checkout. These little moments build confidence and communication skills.
4. Give her phrases for tricky social moments with peers.
Navigating the social side of school can be just as overwhelming as mastering math facts. Recess, group projects, lunch tables… well, it’s a lot. And when something goes sideways with a peer, many kids either shut down or lash out simply because they don’t have the words for their feelings or needs. That’s why this is one of those back-to-school tips not to overlook.
Try this: Role-play social scenarios together. Take turns being the kid who feels left out, who needs to say no kindly, or who wants to join in. Keep it light and fun. Practice using simple phrases like: “Can I play?” “Please stop.” “That’s not kind.”
5. Help him believe what you already see in him.
There’s something special about hearing someone praise you when you weren’t meant to hear it. It just hits differently, and that’s true for our kids, too. When your child overhears you saying something kind and true about him, it feels real. Believable. It sinks in deeper than a direct compliment and gives him confidence in his abilities and in his character.
Try this: Next time you’re chatting with a grandparent, your husband, or a friend while your child is nearby (even if he seems busy), slip in some genuine praise about something he’s done well lately. Keep the compliment simple and honest.
6. Create a goodbye ritual that fuels courage.
When kids face the unfamiliar—new classrooms, new faces, new routines—a goodbye ritual gives them something steady to hold onto. Whether it’s a secret handshake, a short prayer, or a phrase you say every morning, these small acts become emotional anchors. They remind your child that she’s loved, supported, and braver than she feels.
Try this: Pick a simple phrase or action you can repeat daily. Keep it short, sweet, and consistent. Our family’s ritual includes saying “be the light”—a reminder to lead with kindness. It’s a tiny moment that sends my daughters off with courage tucked in their backpacks (and hearts).
7. Prioritize emotional check-ins during the after-school routine.
The best back-to-school tips work all year! Adding a daily check-in to your afternoon routine helps your child feel grounded, seen, and emotionally ready for each day from day 1 to day 180. It supports his confidence at home and in the classroom.
Try this: Set aside a few minutes for a low-pressure check-in. You’re not in problem-solving mode. You’re in heart-connecting mode. These after-school conversation starters can help.
Got a not-so-obvious back-to-school tip that works for your family? We’d love to hear it!
