A fellow mom from work and I commiserated recently over our sons’ behavior. “Honestly,” she said, “my son can be a real—.” She stopped there and shook her head. I nodded, knowing the feeling all too well. We had boys roughly the same age, at the brink of adolescence. And it turned out our kids liked to test boundaries to see what they could get away with. We know we shouldn’t call our kids names, but the reality is that frustration bubbles over sometimes and it happens. We love our kids, but we’re human and we make mistakes.
Instead of responding in anger and later regretting our word choice, why don’t we start looking for our kids’ good deeds and give them strong, positive names? Kids will more often than not become what we say they are. When you notice your kids doing something kind, give them one of these 3 character-building names for kids.
1. Peacemaker
“She said I could read this book!” my son cried, clutching a novel to his chest. My daughter stood nearby, watching. “But you shouldn’t have gone into her room. That’s why she’s upset,” I said. My son continued to argue, and I could feel my temperature rising. That’s when my daughter stepped forward, her arms reaching for her brother. “It’s OK,” she told him, pulling him toward her. “You can borrow my book.” I looked at her, a little astounded, but grateful. The tension in the room quickly thawed. “You’re such a peacemaker,” I told her a minute or two later. “Thank you for that.”
We need more peacemakers in our schools and in our world. When you spot your child refusing to get sucked into an angry situation and trying to find a peaceful resolution to an otherwise prickly situation, name her role for what it is: peacemaker.
We need more peacemakers in our schools and in our world. Click To Tweet2. Truthteller
My son has had a pretty clean record telling the truth over the years, so I’ve been surprised in recent months to find him “playing with words,” as my mom describes it. Others might say he has “stretched the truth” while my husband, zeroing in on the facts, has said simply, “He lied.” Honesty is obviously a trait we want to instill in our kids, so I wanted my son back on track ASAP. With the latest incident, I said, “Look, you’re not telling the truth. When you leave a part out, it’s lying.” I paused, letting that sink in. Then I said, “This isn’t like you. You’re a truthteller.”
When kids lie, they lose our trust. We want to raise truthtellers not only to maintain trust in relationships but because our society needs honest people in the workforce and later, raising their own children. When your child fesses up, thank him for being a truthteller. He’ll start to own that character-building name as part of his identity.
If you want to teach character throughout the year, download iMOM’s Building Good Character Traits for Kids calendar. It’s free!
3. Warrior
There are many ways to define a warrior, but most of our kids aren’t training for combat between classes or donning war paint on the playground. When I say warrior, I mean someone with mental strength, someone who can put aside worries and focus on accomplishing his or her goals. When my daughter struggled in math this past year, she stayed after class once or twice a week for a stretch to work with her teacher. She prioritized her homework after school and ultimately, she raised her grade. I call that a warrior. She could’ve given up, told herself that math wasn’t her thing. But she didn’t quit.
A child who exhibits perseverance is a warrior. A child like my son, who recently shelved his worries about exams and buckled down to study, is a warrior. If your child stands up to a bully, trains hard to make the track team, powers through giving a class speech, or refuses to let mean kids bring her down, then she’s a warrior. Tell her this. Mental strength is often a sign of a child’s success and future happiness. When she knows she’s a warrior, she’ll look for more opportunities to live up to this name too.
What are some other character-building names for kids?
