I lay in the darkness, replaying the day in cringing detail. I lost my patience with my toddler at lunch, raising my voice over peas—of all things! And then I got irritable with her at the park because “Potty!” right when we got there and no bathrooms in sight. But then the tightness in my chest relaxed a little as my mind flipped to bedtime. With sniffles of gratitude, I remembered how she wrapped her pudgy, soft arms around my neck and whispered, “You. Awesome.”
Sometimes we go to bed feeling like lousy parents. But no one said being a toddler’s mom is easy, and we’re bound to have days when we feel less than stellar. Even so, there are probably 4 things you’re doing really well as a toddler mom.
1. You show your love for her.
My daughter held her arms up, her eyes pleading for me to hold her. How could I not? I bent down, and in a swift motion, I lifted her up and onto my hip. She dissolved into warm mush, nuzzling into my neck. Ah, the feeling of holding your child this close! Could anything be so perfect?
We show our love by blowing raspberries on their pudgy bellies, teaching them how to pull up a diaper, and sitting on the floor with blocks until our hips hurt. As a toddler mom, we do all these things because we love our children in so many ways. But rest assured, even child experts like psychology professor and author Lauren B. Quetsch worry about being a good enough mom. She says when her husband reminds her of how her kids cuddle her and get excited to tell her about their day, she feels better. “I might not do everything right,” she says, “but these moments help me recalibrate.”
2. You share his troubles with him.
“Aw, do you have sand in your eyes?” I asked as my son cried, his little hands batting his face. I knew his tears would wash away the sand and it’d just take time, so I sat down and pulled him onto my lap, gently rocking him until his tears subsided.
As a toddler mom, you’re teaching empathy when you say, “I know you’re sad about losing Puffy.” What may seem so simple and natural to you as a mom is actually teaching your child some very important skills. According to educational consultant Amanda Morin, you’re also forging a connection with your child by letting him know you understand and he’s not alone. Getting down on your child’s level, hugging him when he’s feeling sad, and kissing his scrapes shows your compassion and understanding.
Getting down on your child's level, hugging him when he’s feeling sad, and kissing his scrapes shows your compassion and understanding. Click To Tweet3. You’re someone she wants to spend time with.
Does your child toddle over to hand you a race car or a board book and say, “Play with me?” or “Read?” When my kids were little, I remember craving time to myself. I think most moms of toddlers do. But now, as a mom of teens who crave their own independence and time away from me, I look back on their younger years with wistfulness. A toddler needs you, yes. But your toddler also wants to be with you. That’s why she’s crawling all over your lap when you’re trying to do something on the computer, and why she sits on the floor near your feet while you’re trying to cook dinner.
Your toddler wants to spend time with you. It means she loves you and you must be doing things right!
4. You show you’re human too.
I pulled forward through my parking spot to make a right turn when I heard a horrible sound: “CRUUUUUNCH!” I destroyed my passenger-side door on a pole. I glanced in the mirror at my wide-eyed three-year-old. That driving mistake cost me a pretty penny. But mess ups are common, and they show our kids we’re human on a daily basis—misplacing the phone, knocking over the baby wipes container, forgetting to pack a diaper, losing our temper, and calling another child by the wrong name. Oops. It happens. “See? Mommy makes mistakes too.”
As a toddler mom, you might not be getting enough sleep. Understandable! And that probably affects your choices during the day. But it’s important to forgive yourself when you’re off your game. Admitting your mistakes also deepens your bond with your child. When she sees you’re not perfect, it gives her confidence to be herself and own up to her mistakes as she grows too.
How are you enjoying this stage of life as a toddler mom?
