My little boy stood on the stool facing the mirror. While I brushed his teeth, I caught my daughter’s reflection as she climbed up the stroller parked behind us. In a flash, she stood in its seat, arms upraised, giggling. I spun around to grab her, but she scrambled toward the handlebar. The shift in weight tipped the stroller over, and my girl crashed to the ground.
After the fall, my daughter cried a bit, but we cuddled and, pretty quickly, she seemed OK. The next day, we visited the aquarium, and it wasn’t until I examined pictures on the train ride home that I realized something was wrong. In one photo, my daughter held her wrist in an awkward position. I discovered she’d broken it, and that night, she got a little pink cast on her arm. I felt so guilty! But now I can see her ability to calm down and carry on was a form of emotional regulation. And it is a tool that will help her throughout her life. Seeing it in her was a life lesson for me—I learned the impact emotional regulation can have. Here are 7 other important life lessons I’ve learned from my baby that have helped me live life well.
1. Stay positive.
My daughter was a happy baby who laughed whenever her big brother played with her. She rolled with things well. Not all babies—or adults—are like this, but I think her naturally positive outlook kept things going well for her, even when her brother occasionally did something to bother her. Learning to recover quickly from setbacks and to keep a positive outlook has been something I’ve worked on ever since my baby was little. It has helped me to live life well.
Try this: The next time something small goes sideways in your day, pause before reacting. Take a breath, then ask yourself: What would my baby do? Chances are, she’d shake it off and look for the next thing to smile about.
2. Enjoy the little things.
As a baby, my daughter took great pleasure in eating. It was funny watching her chew with only six teeth. It went so slowly! But she savored new flavors just as she savored new textures between her fingers—the softness of a velvet blanket or the slipperiness of slime. She took her time with new experiences. There are so many little things we take for granted, so I am trying to notice more these days and appreciate the little things.
Try this: Pick one ordinary moment today, like a walk to the car, and experience it the way your baby would. No rushing or multitasking allowed.
3. Marvel in nature.
I used to push my baby in her stroller down by the river and often brought bread for the ducks. As she watched the birds gobble the crumbs, swimming and darting about in the water, I watched her face. Pure joy. When was the last time you stood outside marveling at something not man-made, like a goose or a squirrel? These are creatures I don’t love, but my baby finds delightful. Maybe God created them simply to show us His love, reflected in our babies’ eyes.
Try this: Go outside with your little one and let her lead. Follow her eyes and see what she notices that you’ve stopped seeing. Researchers at Cornell found that just 10 minutes outside can reduce stress and boost your mood. Your baby figured that out way before they did.
4. Be slow to anger.
Do babies get angry? I think they get frustrated if they can’t reach something and cranky when they’re hungry, but I’m not sure they know anger when they’re very young. Anger tends to come from hurt or disappointment or another complex emotion. I’m trying not to jump to anger and instead sort through another underlying emotion first.
Try this: When you feel your frustration rising, stop and H.A.L.T. Are you hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? This helps you to assess what you really need in the moment.
5. Be kind to strangers.
Babies smile, wave, grab fingers. My baby loved the attention she received from strangers and didn’t have any fear. I loved her openness and ability to connect with others. I could take this cue from her to be more open too. That might look like offering a smile or greeting someone in the grocery line, even if I don’t feel like it.
Try this: Make eye contact and smile at one stranger today. That’s it. See what happens.
6. Assume the best in others.
My baby girl trusted in my ability to take care of her—even though I failed to recognize her broken wrist right away. She still cuddled me and loved me. Sometimes, it’s easy to accuse others of wronging us on purpose. “She didn’t text me back. She must not prioritize our friendship.” Instead of thinking the worst, I’m trying to do better: “She’s probably busy with work.” More often than not, any slights I may have felt end up being accidental.
Try this: The next time you feel slighted, give it 24 hours before responding. In the meantime, choose to think the best about that person.
7. Forgive others.
Any normal person might hold a grudge against someone who failed to provide proper medical care in an emergency. But my baby didn’t. Sure, she didn’t have the maturity even to comprehend grudge-holding, but we can take this as a lesson in forgiveness and understanding. If someone has wronged us, it does us no good to hold onto the hurt. Either talk about it with that person or move on. Forgiving others helps us to do both.
Try this: Is there someone you’ve been holding a grudge against? Write her name down, say a prayer for her, and ask God to help you release it.
How has your baby taught you to live life well?
