“Wait. Doesn’t the bus leave at 5:30?” I asked an empty kitchen. I hopped off the stool and hurried down the hall. “Get your uniform on!” I shouted. “You have to be at school in 10 minutes!” Moments later, my son came charging down the stairs, tucking in his shirt, scurrying around the foyer, searching for his shoes. “Am I going to make it?” he asked, breathless. I stopped and took a deep breath, willing the panic in my voice to disappear. I didn’t want my stress to rub off on my kid. “You’ll make it. Grab your stuff and let’s go.” His eyes flickered with worry, but he hauled his bag onto his shoulder, and we darted out the door.
Stress crops up, sometimes out of nowhere. How do we cope? As moms, we’ve had practice. But teens are learning, juggling geometry and biology with hormonal changes and social pressures. Responding well when one ball drops is a life skill. Here are 4 reasons to brush up on coping skills for teens now and why they are so necessary to up your kids’ game as they grow toward independence.
1. To Handle Stress
“I have a math test tomorrow and so much homework. How am I going to get everything done?” My son dropped his heavy backpack on the floor with a thump. “Want a hug?” I opened my arms and he stepped into them. “First,” I said, “get an apple. Then we’ll get some fresh air.” He started to say he didn’t have time, but I insisted: “Down the street and back. Long enough to polish off that fruit.”
Taking a break from a stressful situation is a healthy coping skill. Encourage your child to shift his focus to music, a magazine, or fresh air to calm the stress building inside of him. Knowing when to take a break and how to spend that time can help your child return to the work at hand with renewed strength.
2. To Develop Resilience
Things don’t go as planned? Having healthy coping tools in her back pocket will help when your daughter’s friend forgets to pick her up for school or her coach sticks her on the sidelines during the big game. In these situations, she can shift her mindset. “My mom and I can talk about the weekend in the car,” or “I’m stuck on the bench today, but I’m going to show Coach what I’m capable of in practice tomorrow.”
Teach your child to focus on what she has control over, rather than what she doesn’t. When I didn’t get into a particular graduate school, I was discouraged, but told myself, “I wasn’t meant to go there.” Sure enough, God had another plan for me. The ability to shift her mindset will build resilience, which is something all teens need to thrive.
3. To Handle Things Alone
I dreaded “pick a partner” time at school when none of my friends were in my class. I remember being embarrassed about having to work alone. But I learned to handle it. I buckled down, reminding myself I could talk to my mom about it later. Having someone to talk to is a healthy coping skill for teens when stress or loneliness seeps into the day.
For me, having the opportunity to work alone in school gave me the confidence to later attend college out of state and later still to get my first apartment on my own. Were these things scary? Sure. But I gained strength in the process.
4. To Become His Own Biggest Fan
“I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.” I heard my son murmuring to himself in front of the computer screen. He certainly didn’t look happy, scowling at the algebra equation, his cursor hovering over a blank line. But I backed away once I heard those powerful words.
A mountain can stand between a person and success. But believing the mountain is climbable is half the battle. Teach your child self-affirmations so in times of crisis, he or she relies on them. Becoming your own biggest fan will take effort, reminders, and practice. But when your child stands before the mirror one day, tightening his tie before a job interview, he’ll stare at his reflection with confidence: “I can do it.” And if he stumbles, he’ll be able to tie his tie again with the same fortitude because he believes he can.
A mountain can stand between a person and success. But believing the mountain is climbable is half the battle. Click To TweetWhat are some other coping skills for teens that have helped your child?
