When we bought our “forever” 1920s house and spent a year renovating it, I remember thinking, It’s a shame I won’t ever do this again because I know so much more now that I have walked through the entire process. Now that my oldest child is over 30, I find myself thinking the same thing. I made some adjustments to my parenting as I went along, experimenting on the oldest and applying what I learned to my youngest. However, there is a depth of insight that only comes from the experience of raising a child all the way to adulthood.
Looking back, I more clearly can see the big picture that was difficult to keep in perspective when there were five children clamoring for attention. So here are 3 big picture thoughts that would have helped me in those “mommed out” moments when I questioned everything: my sanity, if a stage would ever end, that children were a blessing…
1. Motherhood is not for the weak.
It’s for the tenderhearted, yes, but not for the weak. You will have moments of excruciating pain—a sick child, a rebellious child, a child who makes unwise choices, a child who is victimized. These are all examples of the ways you may suffer because your child suffers. A mother’s heart aches as much as her child’s, if not more. But is this not what every mother for eternity has been called to do? Nurture and bear her child’s sorrow and joy as her own?
The solution to the pain and disappointment in parenting is to know your child is a work in process and that process is a refining one. I believed that every opportunity my children and I had to suffer was an opportunity provided by God for our growth.
The solution to the pain and disappointment in parenting is to know your child is a work in process and that process is a refining one. Click To Tweet2. Motherhood is as much about you as it is about your child.
I have a theory that sacrifice is a life game-changer. A woman sacrifices so much when she becomes a mother—time, money, freedom, peace of mind. We claim this a worthy sacrifice because we know children benefit immeasurably from having a mom. But I would argue the mom benefits more. Motherhood has taught me to love deeper, tearfully celebrate joy, profoundly appreciate peace, grow in patience, selflessly exercise kindness, understand that I am not good, implicitly rely on God, nurture with gentleness, and fight for self-control.
3. Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint.
Pace yourself! My closest friends all have children older than mine. I remember having lunch with my friends and listening to them share about how busy they were. I would think to myself, Their kids are in school from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. How can they be so busy? Mine are still at home with me all day. I had to get a sitter just to go to this lunch. I couldn’t wait to get to the school stage. And then I got there and I was just as busy.
Sometimes moms sprint from stage to stage thinking they’ll regroup when their kids are in school or can drive. Don’t wait. Regroup now and pace yourself, because every stage has its demands. Enjoy where you are or you’ll sprint right past it.
What’s a word of wisdom that helps you keep motherhood in perspective?
