“At the end of class, I cried,” my friend’s son admitted. She told me she tried not to look shocked. But, oh boy, it worried her. He cried because he didn’t understand the math assignment. “When he told me he cried,” she said, “I realized he needed to learn how to cope better.” He needed to become his own cheerleader so he could get through tough situations like this one.
We want our kids not only to keep their big emotions in check but also to gain confidence in their abilities to handle hard things. Clinical psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore says kids should rehearse some coping statements in advance. This way, they “can stay anchored during a challenging situation.” Coping skills for kids can contribute positively to their well-being. Here are 17 statements kids can use the next time something uncomfortable, nerve-racking, or downright scary comes along.
Coping skills for kids are helpful at school, in social situations, and more.
1. I’m not happy about this, but I can handle it.
2. I’m tough and can deal with whatever comes my way.
3. I can calm myself with slow, deep breaths.
4. This wasn’t my choice, but I can make it through.
5. The hard part will be done soon, and I’ll be OK.
Maybe your child has to recite a poem in class? Or she’s in the dentist’s chair? If she’s feeling nervous or worried, she can help herself by thinking one of these powerful coping statements.
These statements can empower children in uncomfortable situations.
6. I’ve done hard things like this before.
7. If I take a moment to think, I’ll come up with a better response.
8. As long as I choose kindness, I’ll be doing the right thing.
9. I can’t control others, but I can control myself and my reaction.
10. It’ll get easier with practice.
11. I’m uncomfortable right now, but this feeling won’t last forever.
If we don’t want our kids to freak out or put on a drama show, we need to teach them a few statements to use when they start to get nervous or worried.
Coping statements can also give kids much-needed confidence.
12. Not everything has to go my way because I’m good at rolling with things.
13. Some kids like me and some don’t. That’s OK.
14. One step at a time. I can do this.
15. This is tough, but I can handle a challenge.
16. Everyone has a bad day now and then.
17. It’s OK if I make a mistake. I’m human.
If you empathize with your child and then prompt him to say a coping statement, you’ll give him a chance to calm himself down and tackle this tough thing ahead.
Coping skills for kids can be taught. It may take several tries and daily effort to lock down these statements, but talking to your child about them frequently at night (or whenever the topic arises) will get him used to the idea. And pretty soon, he’ll be able to make it through math class—or wherever—without tears.
Coping skills for kids can be taught. Click To TweetWhat coping skills have you taught your children?
