It’s probably safe to say that no one will love your children as much as you and their father do, but a grandparent’s love can come pretty close. And what a wonderful gift for your children to be so adored by another person in their lives.
So even if it can seem like yet another thing for new moms to do, fostering a strong grandparent/grandchild bond from the beginning of your child’s life will benefit your child—a lot. In fact, according to Boston College research, having a close relationship with a grandparent will boost your child’s well-being into adulthood. Here are 10 ideas to strengthen that grandparent bond from day one.
If Grandparents Live Close
1. Encourage regular visits.
Some grandparents offer to visit their grandchildren, while others wait to be invited. Either way, try to be welcoming to your child’s grandparents, especially your in-laws who might not feel as comfortable dropping in unannounced. And it’s OK to schedule shorter visits while you’re still getting used to being a new mom, or a mom of more than one child.
2. Let them help.
Some grandparents seem to sense how and when to help. If that’s the case in your life—let them! Even if they don’t follow the exact routines or rules you have with your children, try to be as accepting as you can.
3. Host a grandparent night.
You can start this tradition when your kids are really small. Have some only-for-grandparent-night treats—fun snacks, special blankets and pillows, grandparent-only books and games.
4. Keep criticism private.
Your children may eventually see themselves in their grandparents, so focus on the positive aspects of your children’s grandparents and try not to criticize them in front of your children.
5. Encourage one-on-one time.
As soon as you’re comfortable leaving your baby with his grandparents, do it. Start low-key and adjust based on your child’s needs and your comfort level. For example, if your toddler has separation anxiety, start by going just one room away so you’re able to pop in and offer reassurance as needed.
If Grandparents Live Far Away
6. Share family meals.
Prop your baby up in her high chair and set up your phone across the table so your baby and grandparent can dine together.
7. Increase screen time.
Yep. You read that correctly. Not all screen time is created equal. In addition to sharing meals, use technology for a weekly check-in. Text or email photos and videos to grandparents as often as you can.
8. Become classic pen pals.
Send cards “from” your baby. Trace your child’s hand and send the drawing to his grandparents in the mail.
9. Accept the grandparent’s style.
Not all grandparents want to be super-involved with their grandchildren. All you can do is facilitate the relationship and ensure they know they are welcome to be a part of your child’s life.
10. You get to decide.
It’s up to you how much you want to encourage your children’s relationships with their grandparents. Just remember, the earlier you start, the more bonded the grandparents will feel to your children.
What might hold you back from strengthening the grandparent bond?
