“Do you want him doing that?” my friend asked, chuckling. I turned to find my son pulling every diaper out of the wicker basket beneath his changing table. He seemed really into it! I laughed with my friend. “He’s having fun, right?”
Toddlers are going to make messes. There’s so much growth happening, especially in their minds and with their gross motor skills, that it often becomes a disaster zone at home as they explore their surroundings. But what’s that saying? A messy home is a happy home? These years are only a brief season in your child’s life, so if you can tolerate a little disarray as he becomes more of an independent toddler, here are 5 green lights to give him. He’ll be so glad you did!
1. Be curious!
Our playgroup teacher suggested we let our toddlers explore. “The Tupperware cabinet or even your sock drawer!” she said. So, I tried it, and my son had a blast placing all the plastic containers on the kitchen floor. You can also fill a shoebox with toddler-safe items and let him have at it. Giving your independent toddler safe, healthy ways to explore is good for their brains.
Writing for Michigan State University, Tracy Trautner says, “The more curious a child is, the more they learn.” So, provide your toddler experiences to get curious. Explore the outdoors together and ask questions as your child sees things for the first time.
2. Be helpful!
While your toddler’s awake, she’ll probably want to be by your side. Play with her when you can, but let her help when you have other things to do. She may want to be just like mom and imitate your movements. Give her small things to do like scooping kibble into the dog’s bowl or tossing the newspaper in the recycle bin. Elisa Cinelli of VeryWell Family writes, “While it may be easier and quicker to do everything yourself, allowing your toddler to help in even the smallest ways can keep them active and teach important skills.”
3. Be a leader!
Though it may not be possible to put the dinner on hold, there may be other times when your toddler wants you to play. If he brings you a book or takes your hand and tugs you to the floor, go with it if you can. He’s making decisions for himself and letting you know what he needs. Honor his leadership skills by agreeing to do what he’d like—even if you can only spare a few minutes. Following his lead will build his confidence and encourage him to be an independent toddler and leader in the future.
4. Be physical!
When my daughter learned to walk, she enjoyed climbing up and down the steps outside our church. Long after everyone left, she’d still have one tiny hand on the railing, climbing the five stairs to the top—and then back down. “Gross motor skills develop rapidly during the toddler years,” writes Cinelli. So, let your toddler’s natural curiosity propel her along. She’s gaining newfound abilities and is excited to see what she can do. Give her the green light to be active.
Print out and use our free printable for 10 Ways to Pray for Your Toddler as she grows. 
5. Be independent!
“Me!” my then-toddler son said reaching for the little toothbrush in my hand. Oooo-kay. Once they’re mobile, toddlers are excited to explore their world and do things for themselves. Our impulse may be to say, “You’ll spill” or “I can do it quicker.” Instead, consider giving him the green light after assessing the situation for safety and addressing your own fears.
Parent educator Vicki Hoefle says we shouldn’t discourage toddlers’ natural enthusiasm for learning. Rather, teach your child the skills needed to do things for himself. Break it down into small steps, don’t step in right away when he struggles, and then let him practice, even if he creates a mess. As your toddler does more by himself, he’ll learn self-reliance. And that’s a skill for life.
As your toddler does more by himself, he’ll learn self-reliance. Click To TweetHow does having an independent toddler who likes to do things for himself make you feel?
