I know that little kids are not tiny adults, but there are days when it feels like they are! Even a 2-year-old can argue, and 4- and 5-year-olds can pull out some pretty masterful moves to get their way. It can be draining! But, since we’re the grownups, we can come up with our own moves for making life with kids easier.
When my children were little and they pushed back on something I wanted them to do, we’d play “trade places.” I’d let them pretend to be the parent. That shift let them calm down and rise to the challenge of coming up with a solution. It also lightened the mood and helped us avoid a showdown. If you’re constantly in a battle with your kids, here are 7 other tricks I’ve used to prevent power struggles.
1. Walking Like a Robot
When my daughter was a toddler, she would often say she was too tired to walk home from the park. “Carry me!” she’d wail. I’d want to, but I was already holding her baby brother with one arm and a scooter with the other. So, instead of battling, I’d say, “Hey, let’s walk like a robot!” Choose your creature or character: a duck, a soldier, a bunny. As long as forward movement is the result, go for it!
2. Picking One
How can cauliflower compete with cookies? Try this. Give your child three vegetable options before dinner and ask him or her to pick one: “Hey, which vegetable looks the funniest? Which color do you like the most? Which one would Grandma choose?” Then, cook that veggie, and when you serve it, make a big deal that your child chose it.
3. Teeth Tunes
If your kids like to brush their teeth, congrats! If not, it’s time for them to choose a “tooth song” that you play only at teeth-brushing time. You can also say, “OK, remember to brush until you hear the _____ part!” to make sure your child brushes long enough.
4. Day of the Week
Rather than saying no to doughnuts, late bedtimes, or devices before breakfast, choose a day for them. Then, when your child says “I want a doughnut!” on a Monday, you can say, “You’ll have one on Saturday; that’s doughnut day.” Or, if your child says “I want to hold your phone,” you can say, “Phone day is almost here!”
5. The Friend Toy
When you go to the playground or on a playdate, bring two of the same toy. That way, if your child wants to strike up a friendship, he or she can walk over to another child and say, “Hi. Do you want to play trucks with me?” On a playdate, having a friend toy can stop fights about sharing and two Barbies can strike up a great conversation.
6. Double Sheets
Getting up to change a little one’s wet sheets in the middle of the night can escalate into a showdown because your child’s upset and you’re struggling to remake the bed while you’re half asleep. So, put two sets on at a time: waterproof mattress cover, sheet, waterproof mattress cover, sheet. When there’s an accident, pull off the wet linen and you’re good to go.
7. Game Time
When we’re trying to make life with kids easier, we have to choose our battles and sometimes a battle can be avoided with the use of a distraction. If you really want a child to do something and he or she’s resisting, have his or her favorite game at the ready—UNO, Candyland, Elefun, whatever your kid loves. Then you can say, “Oh, hurry and do _____ so we can play UNO!” The key is for your child to actually see the game. You can even start setting the game up to motivate your kid.
How do you prevent showdowns with your kids? Do you have any secrets for making life with kids easier?
