For 15 months after my divorce, I lived with my parents. My sons shared my baby blue childhood bedroom, and I slept in the bigger, bright yellow room that was my sister’s growing up. Was my parents’ house where I thought I’d be at 35? Of course not. But did I love having my mom to cook for us and my dad to change dirty diapers? Heck yeah. They were a huge blessing.
It was also a load off my mind that I had them to lend a hand on days I had to work late. Juggling work and kids when you’re parenting on your own, even with shared custody, is a different level of stress—financially and emotionally. I know living with relatives isn’t an option for most, and it wasn’t a sustainable option for me either. But these 5 single working mom tips can help provide some of that same relief.
1. Search for hidden pockets of time.
Intentionality is one of a single working mom’s greatest assets. There are little moments during the day that hide from us, but once you see them, you’ll realize that with some extra intention, you can get a lot done.
While you wait for your lunch to heat in the microwave in the office breakroom, instead of scrolling TikTok, pull up your notes app and plan a dinner for next week. Waiting on the kids to wrap up at the dentist? Ignore the episode of Bluey that’s playing (I know! It’s hard!), and respond to that text from your ex-husband about a schedule change. This doesn’t mean you have to constantly be productive. Rest is one of your other assets. Just try to notice when time is being wasted.
2. Determine what’s enough, and honor the boundary you’ve set.
Have you ever set a goal, reached the goal, and then said, I can do just a little bit more? It sounds like a good thing, but it’s not if that “little bit more” is never enough or it encroaches on other important things.
I went for a walk last week. I said, “I’m going to walk for 30 minutes and then give myself time to relax with a cup of coffee.” As I neared the 30-minute mark, my inner voice nagged, “If you keep going, you’ll burn more calories.” I kept walking and left myself with barely enough time to get ready for work. When you’re working, parenting on your own, and trying to care for yourself, let enough be enough. You don’t have to keep pushing or doing more.
3. Give the kids chef’s hats.
Or gardening gloves, or a chauffeur’s cap… The accessory doesn’t matter. The goal is to empower your kids to participate in making the household run. You might not get a gourmet meal from your 12-year-old chef, but you’ll have one item off your list, and she’ll be gaining life skills.
Are the weeds out of control and stressing you out? Send your kids out to spruce up the flower beds on Saturday morning before screen time. Let your 16-year-old run up to the store to get eggs or pick up his brother from baseball. Just because moms can do something doesn’t mean they’re the only ones who should do it.
Just because moms can do something doesn’t mean they’re the only ones who should do it. Click To Tweet4. Automate as much as possible.
In allergy season, I know my kids are going to burn through bottles of Claritin. So I have it on auto-ship. I know exactly how long the bottle will last, and a new one arrives two days before the previous one runs out.
Time is precious as a single mom, and automating household needs, meds, and bills not only can give you back precious minutes, but it also can cut back on stress.
5. Work a day in advance.
You might say, “How does this help? I’ve just shifted tomorrow’s work to today. Then tomorrow will have the next day’s work!” It’s not that the amount of work will change, but the urgency will, and that will affect your attitude and stress level. Chopping veggies for tomorrow’s dinner while a casserole (that you prepped yesterday) is baking in the oven and the kids are doing homework tells your subconscious, “I’ve got things under control.”
You can apply this single working mom tip to prepping lunches, gassing up the car, making a to-do list, and setting out clothes to wear. If you miss a day, offer yourself some grace. You’ll get back on track!
What single working mom tips are life savers for you?
