“I’m having the worst morning!” was the message my husband sent followed by the angry red face emoji. “Yikes,” I thought as I grabbed my phone to crank out a kind reply. I paused because nothing coming to mind felt sincere, and I wanted him to know I felt for him. His job messes with his confidence. But really, how do you make someone feel better over text?
When communication is convenient and quick, as it is with texting, it’s easy to offer empty words and shift our focus back to what’s right in front of us. But if your husband is overwhelmed or in a mood and reaches out to connect, it’s a chance for you to turn toward him and give him the support he needs. So what did I say to my husband that day? It was one of these 10 texts to send your husband when he’s stressed.
1. I believe in you.
My husband and I used to work together, so I know what his job requires. When I texted him “I believe in you,” it was more than a generic vote of confidence. I know the job, I know him, and I know he’s capable. That hits on one of the most important things to remember about how to make someone feel better over text—make it personal.
2. I appreciate you.
If your husband is stressed, saying these three words could give him the turbo boost to make it through whatever he’s got on his shoulders. Feeling appreciated is highly underrated, so don’t hold back on this one.
Feeling appreciated is highly underrated, so don't hold back on expressing appreciation. Click To Tweet3. The kids and I see your hard work and respect you for it.
A friend’s husband works long hours at a job he doesn’t like, so when he texted one day venting about his boss, she said this one in reply and really gave him a boost. As much as my friend wishes her husband could be home more, telling him the family respects his work ethic shows him the people who matter most notice what he does for them.
4. Fancy a make-out session later?
Planning sex might not be a stress reliever for you, but if you’re looking for how to make someone feel better over text and that “someone” is your husband, this could help. At the very least, it will make him smile.
5. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can tell it’s difficult.
In a talk on empathy, Brene Brown said, “Rarely can a response make things better. What makes things better is a connection.” A text is a quick way to connect, which might be all your husband needs to feel peace.
6. If you’re up for it, I’d like to carve out some time to talk tonight.
I’m guilty of letting stress build, exploding, and never coming back to address the real issue. The explosion felt good; time to move on! Don’t make this mistake. If your husband shares his stress with you in the middle of the day, text an invitation to talk about it later so it doesn’t get swept under the rug.
7. I’m sorry if I’ve done anything to add to your stress.
My husband texted from Lowe’s that the part he needed to fix the leaky pipe was out of stock, and I could feel his stress through my phone. I thought back to earlier that morning when I’d pointed out the mess he’d made when he cleared the cabinet under the sink. I winced. Time to apologize. Sometimes just acknowledging that we might have done something that adds to an already heavy load can help alleviate stress.
8. I support you.
When my friend’s husband’s stress level led him to search for a new job, it wasn’t what she wanted for herself. She knew it was best for their family and that he’d make the right decision. If you have your husband’s back, tell him that. It will mean the world to him.
9. What happened?
We need to let go of the stereotype that guys don’t want to discuss their problems. Making that assumption might give your husband the impression you don’t want to listen. Invite him to share. He might not want to, but he’ll know you are interested in what he’s going through.
10. You’ve got this.
Your husband might need you to cheer him on and give him a vote of confidence. A push isn’t always the right response to stress, but you know what your husband needs. If it’s a rah-rah from you, give him a pep talk via text.
What texts help when your husband is feeling stressed? What about you? What do you like to hear?
