“Did you already eat your candy? Where is it?!” My son had four pieces of candy in his bag, but I knew he’d picked up at least three times that when the piñata finally broke at his friend’s birthday party. I looked down into his face, searching for proof—chocolate smeared on his cheeks, blue-dyed tongue and lips from lollipops, anything to tell me what he had done. Instead, a big smile spread across his face as he told me he’d given the rest of his candy away. I was caught between being appalled at all my missing candy and being awed by his generosity. As much as I wanted more KitKats, pride in my son won out.
My husband and I care about raising generous kids. We want them to think of others’ needs. We want them to see themselves as part of a larger community where we all depend on each other. But right now, we just want them to share their toys better. Feel the same way? Here are 6 tips for raising generous kids.
1. Have your kids do a “toy purge” to donate to the local thrift store.
We do a “toy purge” with our kids after birthdays and Christmas. We have a small house, so we need to clear out old toys to make room for new ones, but it also keeps our kids from being spoiled or having so much they are on toy overload. When we explained to our kids that some children don’t have a lot of toys, our kids were much more willing to part with their old things.
2. Sponsor a child in another country.
We always had a child’s photo hanging on our fridge when I was a kid. It actually all started because I wanted a pen pal, so my mom sponsored a little girl in Africa, and I wrote to her regularly. Even as I got older, I still liked writing and receiving those letters. By having a relationship with someone growing up in poverty, I was able to gain a better understanding of her situation. Connecting to the need on a personal level made me want to be more generous with others.
3. Create a gratitude jar.
Every night before our kids go to bed, we ask them to name one thing they’re thankful for from the day. Bring gratitude to mind more frequently by having your kids write what they’re thankful for on slips of paper and storing them in a jar. Pull the slips out from time to time (or when someone doesn’t want to do chores or give away toys) to remind them of everything they’ve already been given. When they know how good it feels to receive, they learn to look forward to giving others the same experience.
When kids know how good it feels to receive, they learn to look forward to giving others the same experience. Click To Tweet4. If your kids get an allowance, give it to them in a way the money easily can be divided.
If your child earns $1 a week for chores, give it to him as dimes. If he earns $10 a week, give it to him as dollar bills. Then teach the idea of a “tithe,” so that 10% goes to the poor. We have separate envelopes for giving, spending, and saving. Then let your kids choose how they want to use their “giving” money—the collection basket at church, food for the homeless, winter coats for the poor, or whatever else they come up with. When their money is easy to divvy up, giving some of it away won’t feel as much like a chore, and you’ll have an easier time being consistent and helping them manage their money.
5. Help families near you.
Whenever friends have a baby, get sick, or experience a loss, we make them dinner and offer to wash some dishes or do some laundry. We’ve also helped clean our friends’ houses and tend their yards when they needed the help. We’ve pitched in to help members of our community buy gifts when they didn’t have the money to do it themselves. If you teach your kids it’s good to show up for friends in need, it’s more likely that they’ll look for opportunities to do it as they get older.
6. Model generosity in your daily life.
You don’t need to go outside your own family to teach generosity. Serve your husband and children dinner before serving yourself. Let someone else take the biggest cookie for dessert. Let someone else choose the movie or game. When your kids see you being generous with them, they’ll learn to be more generous with others.
What are some ways you model generosity in your own life?
