I brought out the two froggy potties, hopeful that my 3-year-old twin boys would take to them quickly. To my surprise, Twin B (the one born second) started using the toddler-sized commode almost immediately. “This isn’t so hard,” I thought. I thought we had a potty-trained twin—until we didn’t. We decided to toss a diaper back on him out of convenience when leaving the house. Big mistake. Having been comfortable with the diaper, Twin B regressed. Since Twin A had no interest in potty training at the time, we gave up, knowing we had to let this battle go to preserve our sanity.
Eventually, Twin A potty trained himself, and six months later, just four months before his fourth birthday, Twin B had his toilet triumph. I’m glad that messy phase is behind us. It’s crazy what potty training taught me about parenting though. I thought I was just working to get to the next phase and say goodbye to diapers, but there are 3 important takeaways I gleaned from potty training my twins that I’ll use for years to come.
1. You’re not always in control.
I had heard of and followed many of the methods: let them be naked, potty train in three days, reward systems, schedules, and more. But if your child isn’t ready, you can follow all the methods and still fail. This doesn’t mean you’re a failure; it simply means you’re not in control. Too often, I’ve entered situations expecting a certain outcome. Whether I desire to make friends in a new social setting and don’t get the response I hope to receive or tell my husband what I want for my birthday and get something different, I’ve learned to embrace a motto: “It is what it is.” Rather than letting disappointment consume me, I count my blessings and move along. Sometimes life, or the people in our lives, dictate how things go. By accepting that I’m not always in control, I’ve released the burden to hold onto it.
2. Every child is different.
My twins might sleep, eat, and poop at the same time, but they didn’t potty train at the same time. Having so many similarities, I expected that they’d both get out of diapers at the same time, too. Unfortunately, there was about a six-month gap between their toilet triumphs. What potty training taught me about parenting is that just because one child does things on schedule doesn’t mean our other children will, too. I’ve learned to be careful not to compare my children as there are just too many variables at play and someone’s going to end up feeling inadequate. I try to celebrate each child for his own successes in his own time.
3. Poop happens.
You can’t control your circumstances, but you can control how you respond to them. I must confess: I think my frustration with accidents caused some regression with Twin B. I caused more frustration and maybe even fear in my little guy. That wasn’t fair to him, and it didn’t help me. Poop happens, literally and figuratively. We should remember that life, like potty training, can get messy. We can choose to deal with our messy situations like mature adults and clean them up promptly, or we can sit in them and let them affect our behavior. Having a positive, problem-solving attitude will more likely result in a positive outcome.
You can’t control your circumstances, but you can control how you respond to them. Click To TweetWhat life lessons have you learned from messy situations?
This article was written by Grace Witchey.
