“Come on, come on, come on,” I muttered, crouching to my son’s level as he struggled to tie his shoelace. “Bunny ears, then loop it around.” I tried to keep the impatience out of my voice, but somehow, he heard it and dropped the laces. “I can’t do it!” Frustrated that we were going to be late to my friend’s party, I snatched the laces and quickly tied his shoes. “Let’s go,” I said, grabbing my bag and practically shoving him out the door. I hated running late. But I hated more how I felt as I rushed to the party.
We arrived on time in my friend’s back yard, only to find her still setting up. We were the only ones there. My heartbeat slowed as I let the awkwardness settle in. I wish I had let go of my need to be punctual. Obviously, it wasn’t necessary, but more importantly, I’d missed an opportunity to let my child struggle through a learning moment. If I always rushed him out the door, I might miss important moments like it. I started to think about when it’d be OK to allow him the freedom to learn or explore instead of always being on time and presentable. Here are 3 times running late shouldn’t matter.
1. She’s working on a new skill.
With a little one, it’s almost always hard to get out the door quickly. When my daughter was two, she wanted to do everything herself. She’d only let me help with her zipper after she’d tried for several minutes. And then she insisted she zip herself to the chin! My son, on the other hand, was happy with me doing it for him. But he needed to learn too! So, if we’re on our way somewhere, I consider where we’re headed and if I need extra time to get ready.
You should also consider your child’s personality and the skills she’s developing when deciding whether to rush out the door. If her little fingers are working hard on a button, she’s developing inner skills in the process—grit, tenacity, perseverance. Being a few minutes late might be worth it.
2. He’s discovering something new.
On the way to the car, my little guy spotted a fuzzy, black caterpillar inching its way across the sidewalk. Of course, he squatted and stuck out his chubby finger to pet it. I had a dentist appointment, but in that moment, his experience with the caterpillar won out. I whipped out my phone, crouched beside him, and snapped pictures. Whether he has his head cocked to the sound of a distant bark or he’s stopped to marvel at the light reflecting off the river’s surface, allowing him that extra minute to take it all in is worth it.
Our children grow through experiencing their surroundings. If your child discovers something new when you’re running late, try giving him a little extra time to enjoy it. You’re bearing witness to the little moments that will shape his understanding of the world.
Our children grow through experiencing their surroundings. Click To Tweet3. She’s helping you.
Some very important developments in character can be taught and encouraged early. Is she “helping” you push the stroller for her baby sister and it’s taking a long time? Is she “helping” you create goodwill by chatting with the neighbor on the way to the car? Or is she “helping” you pick out her clothes for church? Inside each of these moments is a child learning how to be her own person. So, if it slows you down when you’re running late, give your child a little leeway every so often. Children at a young age have little understanding of punctuality but are making big strides in their character.
Set a time limit to allow your child these moments of growth. Of course, you can’t leave it unlimited, but it should be OK to strike a balance between giving your child that extra time and running a few minutes late—maybe not every time, but some of the time. Permission granted.
How do you make these moments less stressful with your child when you’re running late?
