“Why can’t you have summers off?” my son asked. “That’s not how my job works, kiddo. I’m sorry.” I responded with a little ache in my working-mom heart. I shoved my sons’ flip-flops in their bags and rubbed in the last bit of sunscreen on their cheeks before sending them out the door to go play at my parents’ house.
I’m grateful for my job and love what I do, but being a working mom over the summer is physically and emotionally tough. I want the lazy mornings, endless snacking, and pruney fingers from the pool. Instead, I juggle schedules and attempt to squeeze in a summer bucket list activity on a day off. Do you feel stress that doesn’t jibe with the sunshine and lemonade mood, too? If so, I see you, and I’m with you. Here’s why summer is tough for working moms and what we can do to enjoy it a little more.
A working mom has to be in two places at once mentally.
You’re at the office, and you feel a buzz buzz from your phone. There’s a photo of your kiddo petting a koala at the zoo’s day camp. Or you work from home, and your kids are in the back yard running through the sprinkler while you chat with a colleague on a Zoom call. Your mind is in two places, and it’s hard not to feel like you’re shorting everyone—work isn’t getting your best, and your kids aren’t either.
And we get jealous of stay-at-home moms, even though we know we shouldn’t.
I wish I could be the mom who says, “I’m ready for summer to be over. These kids are getting on my nerves!” Now, trust me. I get it, and I don’t blame stay-at-home moms, but I’m still envious. You get to jump into summer with both feet. I’m over here putting a toe in while my hands are still on my laptop.
I want to be the activities director for a change instead of signing them up for camps. I don’t want to have to jam activities into the weekends. Stay-at-home moms, I know it takes sacrifices to do what you do, but over the summer, we working moms wish we could trade places with you.
Then we think about our kids and worry.
When you pictured being a mom and what the seasons would bring, you probably didn’t imagine summer being a whirlwind of camps, lunch packing, and checking in to ensure your older kids made it into the house safely after being dropped off by the carpool.
As a working mom, I always wonder if my kids are having the summer experience that every kid deserves. Have they been cheated out of their childhoods? Am I prioritizing the wrong things? I’m not saying the thoughts are rational, but they’re there.
And there’s not a clear solution.
I love that our articles on iMOM always give some encouragement and practical ways to work through whatever parenting problem you’re dealing with today. But I don’t know if there’s a tip or trick this time. We could say, “Working moms, summer is what you make it,” or “Do what you can and trust that the great memories will be created.” Both of those are true, but they’re not quite enough. Speaking for myself, my heart is still heavy.
Your kids see you putting in the work day in and day out to give them a great childhood. Click To TweetBut there is a bright side.
While you’re working, your kids are learning really important character traits like independence, resilience, and social skills. Sure, you want to be there having fun, but the trade-off is a win for them. And I promise there’s another mom (or 50) just like you in your neighborhood and at your kids’ school who feels all the things you feel—the two places at once, the jealousy, the worry, the stress. She’s taking a random day off in June and a few in July, trying to make the most of every minute.
Your kids and her kids are making great summer memories. They’re getting sweaty, snacking all day, playing in the grass, and staying up late. And while they do all those special summery things, they see you working. But not just at your paying job. They see you putting in the work day in and day out to give them a great childhood. And we see it, too.
What do you do as a working mom to enjoy summer with your kids?
