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10 Compliments Your Kids Need to Hear

How do you feel when you get a compliment from a stranger? It’s a good feeling when someone noticed something about you and said it out loud. But how do you feel when someone you really care about compliments you? That’s a great feeling. A child who feels valued and accepted by his or her mother can change the world. So don’t underestimate the important of keeping a list of compliments for kids on hand.

Research shows that the most motivating compliments for children are those that praise hard work, the process they use to reach goals, and traits like perseverance and dedication. But, be sure to give other compliments too, like how strong, unique, or kind they are. If you have a child who’s not living up to their potential, using positive words will motivate them to move in that direction. In case you’re struggling to be creative with your words, we created this list of compliments. Here are 10 compliments your kids need to hear.

1. Compliment their character. character humility

We live in a world where integrity is neither consistently taught nor widely expected. When our children demonstrate honesty, kindness, trustworthiness, and humility, that’s a great time to give sincere compliments. Work on 12 different character traits over an entire year with our Good Character Traits resources.

2. Compliment obedience and respect.

It’s too easy to fall into patterns of disapproval, where the only time we notice is when kids do wrong. Rather than waiting for disobedience or disrespect (then coming down like a ton of bricks), try noticing obedience and respect: “I don’t always remember to tell you, but you’re a good kid, and I appreciate how you treat people.”

3. Compliment them for simply being part of the family.

“I’m thankful to be your mom. Our family wouldn’t be the same without you.” Kids need to understand that they are valued simply because they are who they are, not for what they do.

4. Compliment contributions to the family.

“Clearing the table is a big help. I appreciate it!” Kids need to understand that what they do makes a difference, that the adults notice, and that pitching in is a good part of family life. Whether it’s sweeping the porch, putting out the trash, or putting away laundry, voice your gratitude for what they do.

5. Compliment the quality of their work.

“This is one clean porch!” “You mowed the lawn right up to the edge. I can tell you take this job seriously.” Doing a job at a high standard is always worth noting. Use iMOM’s free printable chore habit tracker to help your kids grow in responsibility.

6. Compliment the effort, even when the result is not the best

“Your willingness to help makes me happy! Now, we need to take a look at how you can get the trash to the curb without leaving a trail!” Reinforce progress, not perfection, to use compliments as a teaching tool.

7. Compliment when they achieve something new

“Wow! That’s a huge leap forward for you there in math, pal.” “Awesome! I’m not at all surprised after you worked so hard.” A well-placed compliment can keep a positive ball rolling.

8. Compliment their style, even if you don’t exactly share their tastes

We don’t want to force our kids into being clones of us. “That outfit is very you!” “I can tell that you put a lot of thought into how you look.” Even if it’s not a choice you would’ve made for yourself, find something admirable about your child’s style to make them feel comfortable with self-expression.

9. Compliment steps toward a long-term goal

“Son, the improvement you’re showing is really impressive. Thanks for trying.” Waiting for perfection before we’re willing to dish out a compliment is unfair, may dampen enthusiasm, and rarely leads to growth.

10. Compliment their friends

But only do this when you can do it with sincerity! “Your friends are a lot of fun!” “That Jess is such a good kid.” “It gives me a lot of confidence to know you’ve picked friends who have your back.”

Here are 5 Things to Say to Your Kids Every Day and 5 Things Not to Say to Your Kids.

How do you normally compliment your kids?

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