5 Things to Help You Understand Your Mother-in-Law Problems


mother in law problems

Do you have mother-in-law problems? I love my mother-in-law.  She’s kind, funny, and she’s a wonderful grandmother to my kids. But even in the best daughter-in-law and mother-in-law relationships, there can be friction—a mother-in-law who comments on her grandchildren’s sleep schedule or a daughter-in-law who gets defensive when her mother-in-law offers to teach her how to make biscuits her way. So if and when friction arises between you and your mother-in-law, remember that her intentions are probably good, and that she wants to have a strong relationship with you.

Look over these 5 things to help you understand your mother-in-law problems.

1. Once a mom, always a mom.

Do you think you’ll ever stop loving your child or worrying about your child? Me neither! That’s how your mother-in-law feels too. Even though your husband is a grown man, he’s still her child. So when she asks about his latest doctor visit, or wonders aloud if he’s getting enough sleep, don’t take it personally. She’s a mom, just like you. She’s asking because she cares, not because she’s being nosy. Realizing this alone could go a long way to resolving your mother-in-law problems.

2. It’s hard not to give advice.

Believe it or not, your mother-in-law likely has some really great insights into parenting, running a home, and lots of other areas too. So when she sees you doing something differently than her, or when she sees a legitimate need she could help you meet, it’s very hard for her to keep quiet. And, sure, your way of doing things may not be hers, but what’s the harm in hearing her out? And even if she gives advice unsolicited, practice your patience and kindness skills by listening and not getting defensive.

3. She wants to be a part of your life.

I don’t think we will really understand what it feels like to be a grandmother until we become one–kind of like not really knowing what it feels like to be a mom until you become one. Just imagine how much your mother-in-law loves your children and your husband (and you too!), and realize that she has a longing to be a part of your life. So include her when you can. Have her over regularly. If she lives far away, email her or call her often. Invite her to big events in your children’s lives. Also, check out our 5 Things Not Worth Fighting About in Marriage (in-laws are on the list!)

4. She might be lonely.

Pause for a moment and picture yourself in an empty nest. It’s quiet, isn’t it? And while that peace might be very welcome right now when you’re surrounded by rambunctious kids, one day you will miss the hum of family life. Your mother-in-law needs loving interaction as much as the next person. Help her fill that void.

5. She can be a big help.

Most mothers-in-law want to help but don’t always feel welcome enough by their daughters-in-law. {Tweet This} So turn to her for help in driving the kids around. Ask her for advice about how she raised your husband. Let her teach the kids how to make her famous pound cake. Even if you don’t see eye to eye, she’s lived more than you, she has more life experience, and she can help you in your role as a mom.

So today reach out to your mother-in-law with a new perspective. And if you don’t have mother-in-law problems, call her to thank her for being the great mother-in-law she is!

By the way, we’d love to hear your best advice for having a positive relationship with your mother-in-law?

Comments


  • Mom of 2 beauts

    My first thought is that these are great ideas for mother-in-laws, but, it is a different perspective when you have step-mother-in-laws. It just puts a different spin on things.

    • I have a step mother so I think you are right, a little different spin.

      • Nikole

        My step mother in law is so much nicer to me then my real mother in law. Before I got married I thought it would be the opposite!

  • Jennifer Lamb

    I think my biggest mother-in-law issue is that she and my mother have drastically different personalities. My mom is so laid back; my MIL is very direct. I find that the way she phrases her advice demeaning (it sounds more like an order than a suggestion). But I also find myself leaning more towards her parenting style because it is more effective.

    • Kim Futrell

      You and your husband need to find solutions to your parenting without parents of your childhood. We only go to parents as a necessity. You may have a totally different way to parent etc and you should not be forced to take anyones opinion . Marriage is a growth process and it requires both you and your husband to learn through trial and error together.

  • Mel

    It would be a blessing to have a mother in law that wanted to be involved with my family. I long for a relationship with my in laws but they have never shown an interest in being involved. What hurts is they make time for some but not all. My husband says not to say anything because they won’t change. My sis in law says it’s because they have a big family… I’m not buying that. A phone call once a month would be nice. I tried for years with nothing but rejection & Zero reciprocation 🙁 Embrace a loving & involved MIL!

    • happymom
      • Kim Futrell

        The problem with this solution that you may want to regard is that one day your aged parents will be with you more expressively and extensively and their lack of your families rules and guidelines set in tact by you and your husband is not being respected. Never should your family be disrespected. Find an older family who you can serve in such a capacity as extended family. Your inlaws must earn the right to your family privacy and it seems they want their family back to the point they want you to change to their way of doing things…..hmmmmm. Cut those apron strings even if they dont. Let them know together if you want any advice int he future you will call and set up a time with all four of you. Let them know that you feel the same with other things as well. Set up the boundaries now so it wont be bitterness tomorrow.

  • E. Lynn

    Love the advice! I’m always looking for tips on how to have a relationship with my MIL because sadly I do not. I’ve been with my husband for 7 years. She has not seen her granddaughter since she was 2 (now 5 and just started Kindergarten) and she has never met her grandson (almost 2). She does have a relationship with my 2 older step-sons (10 & 12) that my husband has custody of. She sees them through their bio mom. (She hated bio mom when my husband was married to her) My MIL sees the older boys every Wednesday and and every other weekend when they visit bio mom. She has missed out on so many memories due to hatred and bitterness.

  • Jess

    I wish my mother in law issues were this simple. I can deal with normal “No lady is good enough for my son” drama. I can’t deal with a mother in law that allowed bad things to happen to my child on her watch and kept it a secret.

  • Healthier Now

    The best of intensions and efforts can’t fix what needs to be addressed in therapy. There is a large degree of family and personal dysfunction in my X-husbands family and he refused to “leave and cleave”. My X-MIL is a bitter, manipulative person who’s actions and words were mean-spirited and critical. I can see this more clearly from outside the family now and am grateful my daughter is not immersed in it. I hope to teach her the skills to discern her choices early in relationships better than I did.

  • Brenda

    Great ideas, but I have a MIL that has anger issues from her own childhood. I’m the chosen scape goat for both of my husband’s parents. She refuses to speak to me unless my husband or kids are present, then she’s very friendly. When I send cards and pictures of the kids, she doesn’t acknowledge them. She only calls my husband and only emails my children. When I’ve emailed her in the past, her reply was very critical and negative. Because she has two sides, my husband never sees the unkind side and believes all is well. And I won’t even begin to mention my FIL. He’s very hurtful. It’s been a huge lesson to me as how I never want to treat my children’s spouses.

    • Nikole

      If there is one thing my mother in law has taught me it is how I do NOT want to treat my children’s spouses!!!!!

  • Debbie s

    I think that there are definitely ways to get around most things…but when alcoholic issues come into play and you can’t trust your in laws with your child’s safety…then you have to make tough decisions

    • That is very difficult.

    • Kim Futrell

      It is not difficult , safety over all

  • Dawn

    I’ll be calling my MIL first thing in the morning.

  • Lottie

    I lost my mother-in-law over 3 years ago and I still feel the void. She was my mother-in-law for 381/2 years and we were more like mother and daughter. She was a godly lady. Along with my own mother, I accepted any council she gave me. I married her baby son of 5 sons and I’m sure I was not what she had in mind for him, but, once I became a Christian, The Lord began a work in me and she was patient enough to wait on Him to work in me. I loved her dearly and am grateful for the time she was allowed to be a part of my life and I’m so thankful for the good influence she was on our children.

  • Eli

    Love my mother in law. She lost her husband (my FIL) just as my husband and I were starting our relationship. We tried to include her in everything we did, but she was so lonely. Now that she’s remarried, she’s just not the same person. I still love her dearly and value her as a member of our family, but I can’t help but long for the way things used to be. She is a wonderful Nana to our kids and always there for us, so I can’t really complain. Some of the issues described here would be intolerable for me.

  • Cathy

    It really makes my heart ache to see the comments here. I can’t believe how many of us have terrible or no relationships at all with our MILs! I have tried to build a relationship with mine, but she harbors bitterness toward me because I have tried to help my husband rebuild a relationship with his father, her ex. She poisoned her children against him and now hates me because I’m friendly with my FIL and his wife. They are kind, they love us, and most importantly, they want to be involved in our children’s lives, which is more than I can say for my MIL. I’m so sorry that the bitterness and hatred in my MILs heart has poisoned her whole life and all of her relationships, but I will not turn my back on kind and loving family because my MIL wants us to choose sides. I sincerely hoped it would be better than this and am saddened to see I have so much company.

    • Kim Futrell

      She is living with the consequences she made. Do not hold the guilt for it. Stand up , have boundaries, explain in a meeting together with both of you letting her know what she has done to sever your family ties and let her know how she can correct it. IF she does not then you will only meet her in public place for dinners once weekly. Do not come to your house. Do not call we will call you till you make it right.

  • Ohio Dawn

    I love these! The only thing I would add … Which is a combination … I LOVE and LIKE my mother in law because she “gave me” and “raised” my husband – whom I love to the ends of the earth! Without her and her wisdom – I wouldn’t have my incredible husband. It’s that easy! If you remember that – then it’s easy to overlook it all. Also, if you have a son – you too will be a MIL – sooooo, best be nice to yours!

    • Kim Futrell

      God gave you your husband, your husbands family was just the tools of stewardship he used to fulfill his mission of life in this world. Her raising was a blessing but not to earn her a right to overstep your boundaries of you and husbnds marriage. All people must earn the right to be authority. You and your husband earned the right to be responsible for your authority in your family. Dont let know one replace it based upon birthing capabilities. Never overlook any disrespect your MIL may do to your family based on her right to birthing your husband into the world. When you have a son and become MIL make sure you move over, and let him make his wife his life. Your job is done and theirs has begun. Respect the process.

  • mommy of three

    These are hard to do when she lives with us. Also does nothing to help out, no paying bills, not cleaning the house, tells us she is not at our beck and call to watch the kids. Even though all these thing wer agreed upon before she moved in. Also she acts like a four year old.

  • RTC91309

    There is a big difference between offering advice or wanting to be a part of your lives and being controlling and giving you the silent treatment for months when you stand firm, and then go and tell everyone else about it too.

    • bys

      Yes! Story of our lives right now.

    • Kim Futrell

      It is up to you as the adult parents and husbands and wives to express your thanks for advice and know it is from the right place but you would rather learn together and set up your own family as intended by God. Since we want our family to be extending to you as lovingly as we can . We have found help in advice and solutions with the areas we are seeking solutions for. Set up boundaries quickly and get them on the peripheral .

  • ropergirl

    This is my second marriage, the first MIL I had didn’t like me. She never came to visit or call my daughter. my first husband pasted away when my daughter was 8 mths old. my MIL have seen her twice and my daughter is 12 years old. she doesn’t like me or know me because of the money her son left me and our children after he pasted away. so my baby girl feels the pain. The second MIL is evil to the core I use to deal with her because of my husband but I haven’t talked to her in two years. she treated me like an outcast I give her gifts, treated her with respect but now she is cut off. now I am a MIL I dont get in my children’s business, if they ask me something I give them just enough. I love them from afar. I thank my MIL’s they taught me how to love and stay out of my children personal space.

    • Kim Futrell

      Great job of learning what to be from those who messed it up….

  • Dorothy

    My MIL won’t leave. She said she doesn’t feel right leaving when I come home from work because I look tired. So she stays and doesn’t give me any alone time with my step daughters. I still play with them and do everything I need to after a hard day at work and knowing I can’t have any alone time with them really bothers me. Who isn’t tired after working in a busy kitchen for 9 hours? She got to stay at home with my husband when he was a baby and she doesn’t get it. She keeps making comments about how I need to realize how tiring its gonna be when we have a baby together and she doesn’t think I will be able yo handle it. I can handle my step daughters at their worst with no sleep and a migraine. I’m getting to the point I don’t even know if I want a baby if this is how its gonna be. I can’t get any alone time!

  • kim

    My mil is just a bitch. I’ve tried, and forgiven and been fake for 20 years. Its not me its her and she drives everyone crazy. I wish this list of helpful tips would be helpful. But she’s to full of herself and cares to little to even make an effort

    • Elissa Valenzuela

      Same. Sounds like my situation and I am only 3 years in. I lost my cool today. I raised my voice and told her that deep down she knows I’ve been nothing but kind and loving to her. I know that I shouldn’t take her insults personal but I am so hurt.

      • Kim Futrell

        You and hubby need to write out a creed of what you wont except. Give her copy. Expect it to stop. If it does not then you will not be able to see or visit for a while till your family gets apology. stand united and set boundaries.

    • Kim Futrell

      Yep , your husband needs to push her out of your lives. If she cant respect his wife and let you have the place you are to be in as first in his life and keep the drama out of it, she needs to go. Our parents must act in compliance with our adult rules just as we respected theirs. Age is not a one way ticket to drama, negavtivity, and causing strife in a marriage. Fix it now before its to late..

  • Anonymous

    It’s interesting to listen to this type of advice, and to read some of the feedback. It seems like mother in-law issues seem to focus on wives and the husband’s mom. In my situation, I am the husband (ex-husband). My mother in-law contributed to the breakdown of my marriage. Quite honestly, I have such bitterness about the whole thing that I truly hope the next woman in my life does not have her parents in the picture. I know it sounds very mean, but I don’t want anymore in-law drama in my life.

    • Lacking Boundaries

      Sometimes I feel like my MIL comes close to breaking my relationship up with my fiancé. She is extremely close to my fiancé and wants to be in my pocket as well except I am a very independent type of person… It is sad that what MIL thinks are good intentioned actions actually end up being just the thing that destroys the relationship for her children/children in law and when you try and talk to her she just doesn’t listen because she knows better…

      • Kim Futrell

        That is when you need to follow through with adult consequences . You visit in law together, state your complaint of her treatment and explain that your family will not tolerate such . If it happens again you dont answer phones, visit, etc for a week etc.

    • Kim Futrell

      The problem is not with inlaws it is lack of boundaries between parent and grown children. Let know put asunder what is bound together in holy matrimony. Especially not parents.

  • kate

    My MIL hated me from day one. Our 6th Christmas together we went to his family’s get together, where I was completely ignored and sat around watching the entire family and family friends exchange gifts as I was left out. She has always made it clear that my children and I are not welcome in her family. My husband has never stood up for the kids and I. He acts like he’s suprised every time she treats me poorly. Now I just avoid the situation and pretend as tho I have no in laws.

    • Joyce Cherry

      I’m sorry.why are people so cruel. Hate that you have to deal with her. Mines the same way.

    • Tammie

      That just broke my heart. I am so very sorry.

    • Kim Futrell

      It is time to leave your pitiful mamas boy husband. If he is not willing to stand for you against the world especially his family and protect and provide for you against such hateful treatment he does not deserve your love, companionship, willingness to die to bring his genetic code into this world. It is time to let his mamma have her mommas boy back in the diapers.

  • Darcie Maldonado

    I loved my mother-in-law to the moon and back. I miss her every day! She had all boys, never dealt with a daughter so the beginning was a little rough. But she loved our kids,, and she raised the love of my life to be a good man. That is all I needed to love her. I try very hard to be the type of mother in law that I had. All five of your suggestions are spot on!

  • Meredith

    I never really thought about her asking questions about my husband as her just being a mom and not being nosy. But that actually makes sense. This is a very well written article and helps me understand where she’s coming from in several different points you made. She’s truly a wonderful mother in law and I was actually googling how to make my relationship with her even better (not trying to sound like a brown noser). I am not a perfect daughter in law sometimes I think she’s telling me what to do and how to do it because she thinks I’m incapable or something. But now I think she really is just trying to help and be caring. Thanks for sharing this article! 🙂

  • Lacking Boundaries

    My MIL is loving, caring and wanting to be involved in absolutely everything to the point of being extremely smothering. I really appreciate and love that she cares so much but I just need some space and autonomy sometimes… I feel like I am a child after being such an independent adult for so long… I live with my partner in the same town as my MIL & often have dinner together which is lovely. However, my MIL makes me eat & eat until i feel like I’m going to vomit/burst… When I repeat politely to her “its absolutely delicious but I couldn’t fit anymore” or “it tastes amazing but I’m just trying to watch my weight” she looks at me almost teary eyed because I’ve offended her and puts a guilt trip on me until I eat 3 or 4 serves of mains. I also work with my partner in a very busy/stressful/high workload workplace & MIL will call my direct line/ my partner’s direct line which will 9 times out of 10 divert to mine in the middle of the day when I’m trying to meet deadlines and want to chat about what happened on the weekend… Another thing is that if I drive anywhere in the dark/rain she will expect a phone call/text from me to tell her that i made it safely… It drives me nuts!! I was a very independent person until I met my partner. I now feel like all freedom & autonomy has been stripped away. I feel cornered and like I am drowning… If I go for coffee with a friend/relative (which I rarely do because I don’t have time to after you equate the time spent with MIL) she will text/call me while I’m having coffee/ spending time with that friend/relative to see if I’m having a good time or not and to ask me what I am up to with that friend/relative… The thing that made me crack though was when I was really tired one weekend and my partner was going away for the weekend.. I was really looking forward to just a day on my own to recharge and relax and said this to MIL when she invited me over because she didn’t want me to be lonely at home “no thanks I just want a bit of me time this weekend…” but MIL texted me several times throughout the day to see if I was enjoying my “me time day” and then called to ask me to dinner because she thought I’d be lonely… When I didn’t answer because I was asleep in the afternoon she turned up on my doorstep because she was scared that something had happened to me because I didn’t answer my phone. From the age of 16 I have been completely independent from my parents – put myself through the final year of high school and through a first uni degree and now am going through a second uni degree whilst working full-time but MIL seems to think that I need to be wrapped in cotton wool every second of the day because I’ll die if I am left alone to do something on my own… I should mention that my partner just told her over the phone that when I say I need “me time” thats what I mean and that turning up on my doorstep is unreasonable and that my space/boundaries should be respected and she burst into tears on the phone and is now giving both of us the cold shoulder. I am over being treated like a child… I have been consistently sensitive to her needs and never once told her that I felt completely smothered by her actions… But now I am so emotionally tired from it all, I just want my space and autonomy back… My partner & I are getting married next year and wedding planning has been hell!!! I feel like when I try and talk to MIL to tell her that no I don’t want to eat anything more, or no thanks I just want to stay home and have some quiet time I just feel like everything falls on deaf ears… She just doesn’t listen to me because she thinks she knows better about everything! Someone please help!!! What do I do??

  • Rita Riopelle

    My MIL Lives with us. She makes my life a living hell.I Give her things to do around the house ( SHE DOES NOT DO ANYTHING EVEN THE DR).When we are not home she Ramble’s thru my things.I am a Diabetic and I have a few health problems. But since she has moved in with us she finds new things wrong with her every week! I have tried and tried to be nice and patience but my nerves are worn thin..She gets up in the morning and drinks her coffee then hits the couch there she is until her poor dog needs to go potty then it is back on the couch til Supper.She will not give her dog a bath unless made too! She acts like a child sometimes so I treat her like one!

  • seawausa

    I have been divorced from my MIL for ten years and she still won’t give it a rest.

  • Dena

    My mom in law is a classic example of a narcissist and she already started teaching my 3 year old, how to give her that attention and special treatment she craves for, from everyone in the family. My kid is a smart boy but he is falling prey for the fake charm that she throws over him. My kid hardly spends 2 days in a month with her but the remaining 28 days he is counting down for the next visit. He shows less enthusiasm to meet my parents who are genuinely caring. An NMd my husband wouldn’t agree to reduce my kid’s contact with her. I am feeling so bad for my little one, unable to understand how to stop him from becoming a narcissist supply.

    • Sassypants

      I have the same MIL! And she also buys his affection with sweets and gifts despite our rules. He says he likes going over because grandma never tells him no and gives him whatever he wants. He has told us that she called us the boring parents.

  • dukenuk12

    Sorry to resurrect an old thread but I’m looking for advice in this exact realm. I LOVE my MIL. She spoils my wife and I but there’s things she does that drive me up the wall and to be honest, I’m tired of being frustrated with her all the time. I really wish I could turn that off. A couple examples: she rinses our our recycling and sets it on the counter to dry. Usually we just throw it into the recycling bin outside but if we finish watching a movie and head up to bed, we leave those things out. The next morning, I can hear her doing it when she comes over and it drives me bonkers. That goes for when she does the dishes, she will take things out of the sink if they’re in there and hand wash them but let them sit out on the counter to dry. I’ve tried to show her how to use the dish washer but she refuses. Now I’ve got an empty sink, no counter space and wet dishes all over. If it were a team effort, I could imagine just doing it together but she does it when I’m not around so I come home from work to a wet counter and wet dishes everywhere. This has come after I’ve asked her just to leave the dishes for me and not do them at all because I never asked or expected it. If she wants to help, then help me 100%, not 50%. And she’ll do that a lot with things. She insists on doing our laundry when she comes over but she’ll take it home and we won’t see clothes for a week. She cleans with vinegar when I have insisted that the smell is unbarable to me. She gives our dogs treats they shouldn’t have and doesn’t discipline them when they bark (we have neighbors that complain). She over exerts herself and won’t allow me to help so in public, I’m struggling with her to carry the heavier shopping bag or whatever it may be. I’m 6’+ and 31 and she’s ~5′ and 65. It feels like she refuses to let me be chivalrous with her. One last thing is since she does all this for us, I cook just about all the meals whether she’s over or not but if she is I make sure to fix her a plate. When dinner is ready, she refuses to eat with us and let’s to food get cold. That drives me crazy. Sometimes she refuses the food because she just ate some stale bread we were throwing out. Then that sparks an argument because I hate how she treats herself like a second class citizen in my house but I KNOW getting mad at her doesn’t help the situation.

    Typing these few examples seems petty but in practice it drives me mad — and I HATE that it does that. What can I do in THIS particular situation where I feel like I’m not listened to in my house and even ignored?

    • DIL

      What does your wife say about all of this? My own MIL cared for my two kids when they outgrew daycare, but were not quite ready to stay home alone. She cleaned and did laundry during her afternoon at my house. My husband had a hard time with her doing the work, and asked her many times not to, but she enjoyed cleaning, and I could see that it blessed her to serve her family. And I was glad for the help. She wouldn’t cook, though! She hated to cook. I jokingly told her if she would start dinner for me I would build her a room on the house, but she declined. I don’t feel like she went overboard. In your case though, when she gives the dog treats they shouldn’t have and plays the martyr in other situations, I think that’s taking it too far. Show her that your cooking and making a plate for her is your way of serving her like when she serves you. You might have to just take the shopping bags out of her hands and tell her she’s making you look bad! Maybe she’ll smile at that. Anyone that wants to do my dishes is welcome to. As for we recycling on the counter… throw it in the bin wet. Maybe the two of you can meet in the middle. I do think you need to remind her that she must mind your house rules. I don’t think she sees it as disrespecting you, just (extreme) serving.

      • dukenuk12

        Thanks for this. She and my wife definitely butt heads on a lot. My wife tries to mediate after i vent to her about my frustrations because i don’t want to come off as mean to her mother. I do try to meet in the middle, i just wish I didn’t get so upset about some things sometimes. Like, how can i turn that off and let more roll off my back more easily in the future, you know? I think that’s probably the easier thing in the long run and would make our relationship better. As it is, she always thinks I’m mad at her for something. Most of that is her personality quirks separate of how anyone treats her but still, just like with the bags, it certainly doesn’t make me feel very good that her initial instinct is to think I’m mad at her for something.

  • Lynda

    I’ve tolerated verbal abuse from my MIL for 14 years. She is a self center, toxic person who has many problems with building/keeping relationships with anyone. She’s been divorce 4x & none of the men ever come back to even visit the children. She spread rumors about me to all her relatives & made them chose between her or I. My marriage was on the verge of divorce bc of her toxicity. But lucky for me, I had an amazing mom & grew up in a wonderful family. My mom passed 2 yrs ago & I decided I no longer need the approval or love from my MIL. My husband stepped up for the first time when my mom passed away. My MIL ask to come to the funeral & he said “NO” to her for the first time in our marriage. Mind you, my mom had Alzheimer’s for 5 yrs before she passed away from cancer. My MIL never once ask about my mom or cared enough to even come visit. And she is a nurse!!! So Past 2 years, only my husband has had contact w my MIL. He has kept her away from me & our marriage has been renewed. We no longer fight & have had such peace. our marriage therapist helped my husband realized the toxicity in his family & for him to try & face it. We are still working on that. But I no longer have to hear the put downs, the criticism & harbor anger & have to take it out on my husband for not speaking up on my behalf. He has no father bc she got knock up at 16 & father was never in the picture. grandparents raised my husband bc my MIL remarried & moved away. Didn’t see his mom til he was 11 yrs old so he always long for his mom’s approval. Basically, he was told growing up that he has no immediate blood relative outside of her so he has no choice bc she is is only family. Yes this woman is evil beyond words. She also allowed her husband’s to physically abused her own daughter. I tried every avenue to being polite to this woman bc I loved her son but she only caused damage to our marriage. So just bc she is his mom does not mean I have to tolerate the abuse. My mom made lots of sacrifice raising me so I refuse to honor her by living a sad depressed life with an evil toxic MIL that has nothing to contribute or spread besides NEGATIVITY!!

  • Lala

    I know my mom in law is so lonely. But I am really frustrated every other weekend (saturday) she will be here, but she lets my husband knows and my husbands tell me she is coming but she stays like 4 days or sometimes 5 days. We do not have kids. It’s just annoying really. When my MIL is there my husband talks to her for hours and I feel neglected. My mom in law is seperated. Maybe she is longing for a husband figure. Sometimes when we have misunderstanding between me and my husband, she’s to the rescue but for her son. Like I feel I am the villain and her son is the Superson. Calling him most of the week checking him out. It’s really annoying. And if his mom is late, my husband always say its ok, dont be in a hurry. She’s old, even it’s 2 hrs or up to night we will wait for her. I am so sick of that.

  • Linda

    Wow, what a “hot” topic! My advice: Mathew 5:43-44 ESV: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you

  • Joyce Cherry

    My mil made it clear that I’m not family and never will be, she never gave me a chance because her first dil. Oh well I love her son that’s enough for me.

  • bys

    I found this article through my husband that his mother sent to him. Another one of her ploy to be divisive. Divide & conquer, that’s what she’s been doing. It seems she made it her job to destroy her son’s marriage just because she didn’t get what she wanted. She has done more damage than just wanting to be a part of his life, give advice & only wanting to help. Her behavior has merited beyond being “misunderstood.” The accusations and lies she’s made herself believe don’t deserve room in my marriage. She doesn’t deserve to be a grandparent to my son. My son is not her band aid. She has no entitlement to my son, my marriage. The issues in the articles are simple and can easily be ironed out. But sometimes, the issues are bigger & much more complicated when the other person wants to be right. When reasons & logic don’t apply to that person, it’s not going to work out. My husband’s mother has showed textbook manipulations but feigns innocence. She uses guilt like it’s her second skin. We just can’t allow toxic people like that in our lives.

  • 郑蓉

    This is written by a mother in law definitely.

  • Julie Paul

    Grandma dislike your mom do

  • Julie Paul

    What do makes your grandma palate of food her don’t want others way in desh

  • Julie Paul

    Your husband ask your get drink your dad stops you what do

    • Layla

      Your father should not be contradicting your husband here. Do you live with your parents?

      • Julie Paul

        He lives his mom step dad

        • Julie Paul

          Mom tell. Dad being. Chicken. Again your. Don’t. Eat. Again

        • Julie Paul

          Yes

      • Julie Paul

        Mom don’t went you get new iPhone

        • Julie Paul

          you mom went your husband no morey go home whatcsure do

          • Julie Paul

            My iPhone. Freezing. Lot. More I know. March1 upgraded time

      • julieannpaul

        mom say wait atfer dad test of haert about camper

  • Julie Paul

    It’s wrong telling your mother in law is you my birthday party

  • Julie Paul

    It s wrong ask gifts from mother in law

  • Julie Paul

    Your worry. About. Gifts

  • Julie Paul

    Telling your be tomorrow

  • Julie Paul

    Your. Mom tell. Not do. On Facebook

  • Julie Paul

    It wrong. Ask for. Gift.from mother in law

  • Julie Paul

    You. Ask your mother. In law for it wrong

    • Julie Paul

      Your mom kwon any gift

    • Julie Paul

      No not wrong be your mother in law be nice to your

    • Julie Paul

      Ask things mother in law

  • GreenEyedGal33

    My potential MIL is the classic needy MIL. She got divorced 20 years ago but has zero interest in moving on with her life. Instead she is just OBSESSED with her sons and tries to force her way into their lives and relationships on a daily basis. I am dating the oldest of the three sons. It’s horrible. She’s a kind woman but she acts like her sons are still high school age and living under her roof. They are not. My fiance is 30!! It’s just awful. She refuses to treat them their age, she texts us incessantly and she just wants us coming over constantly. She wants the whole big family together ALL The time, with her at the center. Needy doesn’t even begin to cover it. The other girlfriends and I are so fed up. What can I do??

  • Irena Rostova

    I never argue with my mother in law, as I be learned better to agree and do your best 🙂
    Of course I’m totally agree with author . Will call them now 😉 thanks for share

  • Jenny Wilson

    I want to share my testimony to the world. My marriage has been a blessing until few months ago when my life almost get sucked. A strange woman took my husband’s love away from me. He left me and our 3 kids to this lady. I was in shocked because i know my husband still loves me. I tried all i could to get him back but the more i tried the more he went far away from me. All my effort yielded nothing. I was almost giving up and wanted to file for a divorce. Then, I went to many spell casters but they all failed taking my money away. I lived in pains for 3 good months without any plan of getting out of this mess. Till I met an old school friend who show me to Dr okolie on( drokoliespiritualtemple @yahoo.com ), a spell witch who then restore the happiness to my family and my life. His spell worked so fast that I could not even believe it. He’s great for as much as I can tell. Am still grateful to him till tomorrow for his spell works. My husband came back with apologies all for the spell powers of Dr okolie. You can also contact him on his email for all your relationship or marital problems: ( drokoliespiritualtemple @yahoo.com )

  • Cora857

    I sold our house and moved in with my mother-in-law to help her. She couldn’t cook anymore, had heart surgery, she needed help desperately so I decided to help her. And I regret every moment of it. Nobody ever hated me more than her. Why does she hates me? Because she wants to be like me and she can’t. So the jealousy is killing her. When I invited friends over, she would join us and wouldn’t leave. My friends don’t want to come anymore because of her. She goes to our backyard and talks loudly about me, to herself, using my name very often, so the neighbors could hear it. She took my daughter to urgent care without telling me, my daughter got reaction to antibiotic, I had no idea it was the medicine. When I go shopping, she hates me. When I go to the movies, she hates me. When I go on vacations, she hates me. I can’t move now because I invested all my savings in the house renovations to make it little better for us and now I don’t have any money for down payment on a new house. This house belongs to my MIL of course. No good deed goes unpunished. If I hear one more time that old people deserve our respect, I’ll bite.

  • Toheeb Ode

    A GREAT SPELL CASTER THAT HELP ME GET PREGNANT.
    Are you in need of help to solve your infertility problem or to get pregnant? contact Dr mmuba solution home on this email ([email protected]) I am from USA, I have been trying for 5years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. The doctor said that me and my husband are fine and I don’t know where else to turn. Until one day my friend introduce me to this great spell caster who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this spell caster Dr muba on his email([email protected]) after interaction with him he instructed me on what to do, after then i should have sex with the my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one months i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant of two babies. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact his email address: ([email protected])

  • Connie Delcourt

    today at church, my mother in law (behind me in communion line) grabs my shoulders and begins to push me aside. I chuckle as she moves to speak with a woman sitting in the pew and say ….”omg I thought you were trying to cut in front of me” in a very kidding sort of way. Then she says “oh no I would never do that..you would bet the crap out of me…and then stomp on my back as I lay there”. Seriously? I am NOT that kind of person but she says this sort of thing often. very hurtful and I don’t know what to say or do…..just makes me feel pretty bad.

  • Kim Futrell

    Well I do not gree with this womans article at all. this is why I think we are having a break down in this world and in our families. So many qualified professionals do not even take this approach. First of all once a mother not always a mother in the same sense. When our children grow up, become adults, marry and start their own families, well do they need a mother? I hope not? They have now become adult children and they need a friend a family member who understands who they are in relationship to the adult child. they also need to realize that it is time for the children to apply all they believe and have been taught. They are about to embark on lifes journey, the rubber meets the road here and it is through this that the couple bond, work out solutions together and build intimacy in their marriage. They learn how to build a deep and meaningful best friend marriage that does not really need friends to bail them out but extended family and friends to make great lasting memories with. When a couple marries they set up boundaries in their lives with privacy based on what works best for them both to build trust and communication. Giving birth to a man I marry gives his mother no more right to do the things mentioned in this article any more than it gives my father the right to come in and tell my husband such things. Get real! I know you mamas get something from your son’s but this is a little dysfunctional. Love them enough to let them leave! Cut those apron strings and move over for his wife to sit beside him, hold his hand, sit in car with him….If he has to move her out of the way for anything than something is terribly wrong.