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Feel Like Giving Up? 9 Quick Reasons to Stay Married

A couple I know is getting divorced. Neither of them cheated on the other, and there were no big issues like addiction or abuse. The wife said the husband just wasn’t helping out when she was at work and that he didn’t step up enough with the kids. So she was done. This couple has two children, a 16-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son. Now, the dad has moved out and the kids don’t get to spend large chunks of time with their father.

If you’re irritated at your husband or the grass of divorce is looking greener than the home turf of staying married, we want to share 9 quick reasons why you’ll want to reconsider.

1. Things can get better.

Improvement won’t happen magically, but here are some practical, relatively quick ways to make your relationship stronger and more bearable. And studies show that most couples who stay together are glad they did.

2. Others have it worse.

This doesn’t mean your problems aren’t valid, but sometimes it helps if we put our husband’s shortcomings in perspective. Check out this list of 99 things you can be thankful for about your husband.

3. You can thrive after hard times.

Marriages can go through rough patches—money trouble, a sick child, job stress. Here’s how you can survive marriage disasters.

4. Children need their number one fan.

Who else will gush over your children like you and your husband? Who would give his life for your child? And who thinks your kids are absolutely the most wonderful children on earth? You and your husband share a love for your children that benefits your kids tremendously.

5. Your children need one home.

A recent study found that children are not equipped to handle the upheaval of living in two places. The researchers concluded, “Parents’ separation and living in two homes can be stressful for children. Children felt torn between their feelings of loyalty toward their parents and their longing for calm and stability in their everyday life.”

6. You can fall “in love” again.

The hot and heavy romance of early dating days may never return, but you can learn and practice the ways couples stay in love. In turn, those will help you and your husband feel cherished and make your marriage viable. Try these 36 questions to fall in love again.

7. You’ll grow as a person.

Being married has taught me many things about myself, some good, some not so good. As we slog through the tough parts of marriage, we mature and grow.

8. You are your child’s role model.

Our children need to see us work through life’s challenges. By working on our marriage, we can show our children the healthy way to communicate; the process of working through problems; and the place forgiveness holds in relationships.  

9. Being a single parent isn’t easy.

Before you decide to leave your marriage, look at the logistics of your life and how those demands would work in a divorced family. Divorce affects not only children but adults too. Consider how single parenting would affect you and your children.

In closing, we want to be clear that we are not saying to automatically stay in a marriage where you or your children are at risk. If that’s the case, please get professional help immediately.

Tell us! Why do you think it’s best to stay married?

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