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4 Traits That Show Your Teen Is Ready to Date

It’s a proposition that strikes fear into the hearts of parents: sending their teen out on a date. With a real person. Of the opposite sex. Unsupervised. Feel free to breathe into a bag if necessary. One way to approach launching your child into the world of more independent relationships is to let go of the idea that there is a standard age at which all teens are ready for the responsibility—and the pressure.

Some just need solid dating advice, but others need more time to develop the good judgment needed to date without suffering negative impacts. So what do you need to see in your teen to discern that he or she is ready to date? Look for these 4 traits.

1. Transparency

If your teen keeps a lot of secrets and rarely opens up to you about relationships with friends, it’s not likely he’ll come to you to talk about problems in a dating relationship. But dating opens a new world of interactions that a kid needs to be able to talk about with a parent. Questions about physical boundaries, what is and is not abusive, or how to handle a pushy boyfriend or girlfriend—these are all things we want our kids to talk to us about, so if those lines of communication aren’t open between you, spend some time developing more back-and-forth conversation before inviting greater challenges into his life.

2. Understanding Boundaries and Expectations

Until you’ve had some real, candid conversations about the risks of premarital sex and what appropriate boundaries you expect your teen to keep, neither of you is ready for him or her to date. As awkward as those conversations may be at first, you can’t afford to be ambiguous. Explain why the boundaries are important and how they relate to your values.

3. Confidence.

Dating is hard. So many adolescents measure their self-worth by the approval of their peers, and this is only magnified once they want attention and affection from a girl or a boy. If your child lacks self-confidence, dating could prove to be disastrous. An insecure teen places too much value on the opinions of others, finds it hard to say no, and fears social or romantic rejection. A breakup can be crushing and can spawn depression and other problems. If your child struggles with self-confidence, let him or her spend a little more time under your wing, developing the backbone he or she needs to survive the hard knocks of the dating world.

If your child lacks self-confidence, dating could prove to be disastrous. Click To Tweet

4. Respect for authority.

If your child doesn’t respect your rules for spending time with friends or curfews, you can bet he or she won’t follow your guidelines for dating. Wait to let your kid date until he or she displays consistent respect for your authority and you won’t spend countless nights pacing, wondering where your teen is.

What dating advice would you give to your teenage self?

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