This Part of Your Week Can Change Your Mundane Marriage


making time for your spouse

The mundaneness of life can get to all of us and it can creep into a marriage. For a while, I felt like my relationship was on autopilot. Getting out of bed to face the day, I felt so blah. And when you just feel kind of meh, making time for your spouse is not typically at the top of your list. My husband and I had nothing to look forward to amid the daily grind—until we made an easy change.

I’m amazed that this one simple thing totally changed our days from mundane to refreshing. Here’s what it is and how it can change your marriage, too.

Create a “Peak Moment.”

While I folded the (mundane) laundry, I listened to an episode of a podcast called “Fight Hustle, End Hurry” by Jeff Bethke and John Mark Comer. Something they asked struck me: “What is your peak moment of the week?” That question made me realize that I didn’t actually have one. And neither did my husband.

But peak moments can help your relationship by giving you something to look forward to. By making time for your spouse and planning something you both really enjoy, you could create that mountaintop feeling after a long week of the same old grind. A peak moment could be trying a new breakfast spot after church, lighting the first fire of the season in the fireplace, or working on a DIY project together. They don’t have to be complicated or extravagant, but they can change your relationship in 3 ways.

You’ll both have a better attitude.

Having something to look forward to throughout the week turned our attitudes around. We went from feeling stressed out about work, school, raising kids, and money to looking at the prize waiting for us after we got through the week. Some intentional fun helps us remember what it is that we work for. All the work doesn’t amount to much if we don’t make time to enjoy our lives and each other. Making time for your spouse and creating peak moments can bring life, purpose, and joy to your relationship.

It will spark happier conversations.

Speaking of an attitude change, rather than complaining about all of life’s stresses, we have found ourselves talking about the peak moment we look forward to. Whether it be nerding-out and watching a new Masterclass, trying a new bottle of wine and putting together a puzzle, or even just indulging in a favorite meal (with no concern for calories), we find ourselves planning for the next peak moment. Our conversations have gone from complaining about all the work we have to do to delighting in these small intentional moments. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and it’s all we want to talk about.

You’ll be more focused.

Since creating peak moments, we’ve had an easier time staying on task. It has also helped us make healthier choices throughout the week in anticipation of a little indulgence. I look forward to indulging and feel less inclined to derail when I know there’s a break coming. Have you ever gone to the gym and had a personal trainer push you hard? Pushing through a hard workout is easier when you know a break is coming. Sometimes all I can think of is the countdown ’til that break! That is what these peak moments have done for us in a season when it seems like every day is like the one before it. There’s a break coming. We work hard when it’s time to work, but we look ahead with anticipation to our next peak moment.

Ready to give it a try? What’s your peak moment this week?

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