Parenting is the most humbling thing many of us will do in our lives. The joys of shaping the hearts and minds of children are tremendous—but the trials are, too. Even those of us who are calm, cool and collected in other areas of life can find ourselves at the end of our mental and emotional ropes and in need of parenting help.
If one of your children is in a season of rebellion or other crisis, don’t lose heart. There are countless parents of great adult children who can tell tales of similar seasons in the lives of their kids. But how you handle the problem may influence the outcome. Here are 4 things to consider when the going gets rough.
1. Don’t panic.
Just because your child isn’t acting like the person you want him to be right now doesn’t mean that he never will. Sometimes our kids act out or make mistakes in an effort to test boundaries and gauge our reactions. Maintain a facade of calm even if you don’t feel it inside. It’s important for your child to know that you’re still in control of yourself, at the very least.
2. Stay tight with your spouse (if you are married).
If you are not married, link arms and work as a team with your child’s dad as best you can to get through the hard stuff. If you are married, parenting challenges can be disastrous. The constant stress of dealing with a tough situation and trying to agree on how to deal with it can damage the best of relationships. Your marriage and your kids will benefit if you can maintain a sense of unity as parents. Communicate well and often about what’s going on with the kids, including what is and isn’t working to address key issues. Work out any differences of opinion behind closed doors, and present a united message to the kids.
3. Seek wise counsel.
If you’re facing tough or persistent issues with parenting one or more of your children, there’s no shame in seeking the help of a qualified family counselor for advice. Additionally, your child might benefit from talking to a trusted counselor to get to the bottom of his own frustrations and learn to cope in more positive ways.
4. Stop worrying about what the neighbors think.
If your child’s choices or behavior are embarrassing to you, remember that what’s going on with your child and what it means to her future is far more important than what anyone else thinks about it. Sure, in a perfect world, you’d like to preserve your child’s reputation, but it’s not the top priority.
Tell us! How do you typically respond to a parenting crisis?
