Marriage & Love
10 Things to do to Help Your Marriage Feel Less Stressed

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” - Serenity Prayer, attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr

In marriages, stress is a leading cause of interpersonal tension and dysfunctional relationships. There is good news, however! A lot of the stress in marriage is avoidable when both parties are aware of stressful triggers. Here are 10 things we can do to reduce the amount of stress in marriage:  

1. Always put your spouse first

This is a HUGE principle and key to reducing relationship stress. Ideally, a husband and wife will put the other first, but you only have control over your behavior. [The greatest marriage advice nobody wants to hear]

2. Have fun together

Movies, walks, picnics, games, trips…not just fun, but hilarity. Laughing together is great relationship medicine. [8 Outside the box date night ideas]

3. Build “together time” into your schedule

“Time with your spouse” shouldn’t be relegated to the status of leftovers! Your relationship with your spouse trumps all other priorities and schedules. If that means scrawling “Relax Together” on the calendar in indelible marker, then so be it!

4. Don’t sweat the small stuff

When you feel the first inklings of stress, ask yourself “Is this a moral issue?” If not (nine times out of ten it isn’t), then let it go. Make your mutual priorities a recurring topic of conversation. Remind yourselves what really counts. Simplify your lifestyle. Celebrate what you have in each other. [Find the sweet spot in your marriage]

5. Give back, and do it together

Work at the soup kitchen; volunteer with a faith-based community; hook up with a group that helps the less fortunate or restores the environment. Throw yourselves into charitable causes together, and watch things fall into perspective.

6. Communicate clearly and respectfully

Like sit-com fodder, misunderstandings are the source of a lot of tension. Always keep your spouse in the loop, and always communicate with love and good manners. [5 harmful marriage communication habits]

7. Tell the truth

Remember the old adage, “When you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said the last time.” People who don’t keep secrets experience less stress in relationships.

8. Get physical

Physical contact is a proven stress reliever. Squeeze into the same chair to watch TV– just hang all over one-another. Reach out and take your spouse’s hand while walking, driving, or at an event. Be deliberate about demonstrating affection via physical contact. [5 questions to take your love life temperature]

9. Play to your strengths

Effective teachers know that playing to a student’s strengths works better than focusing on any weaknesses. Pay attention to your husband’s strengths; build up, affirm, and encourage. Criticism always leads to more stress. [4 ways to compliment your husband]

10. Live within your means

Money problems are the leading cause of stress in American marriages. Take preventative measures to work this one out. Remember #4, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Most of the stuff we get into debt over is simply not worth the stress. [Money: What couples fight about the most]

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