The Truth About Porn Moms Need to Know


truth about porn

 

So what is the truth about porn? Is its rising availability the hallmark of a liberated society? Or is it a massive crack in the wall of our culture that crumbles more by the day? Some would have you believe that the porn industry is a no harm, no foul business proposition and that those who oppose it are just religious zealots with an agenda.

But there’s an ugly underbelly to this cultural shift, the full extent of which we still don’t even know. Curious young people go online looking for answers about sexuality and fall off a steep cliff in just a few clicks. My husband jokes that when tween boys were curious about women in his day, the lingerie section of the Sears catalog was the most informative thing available. Today, the images thrust before them are far more graphic and far more damaging.

The curiosity is natural. But pornography presents such a distorted, unnatural take on sex that it undermines a young person’s ability to enjoy a natural, loving sexual relationship within the long-term bond of marriage one day. It cripples them in ways we’re only beginning to understand and creates a need that will never be satisfied in a healthy way.

So when you’re tempted to giggle and dismiss your child’s desire to seek out pornography, remember that we’ve never raised a generation of boys (and girls, for that matter) with easy access to this level of unnatural stimulation. Children need your help to be protected from the ugly downside of porn. {Tweet This}  Here’s what you need to know.

1. Your child has probably already seen porn online.

Hopefully, you’ve safeguarded your home computers, internet-streaming TV apps, and mobile devices to prevent access to inappropriate content in your home. But every time your kids leave the house, they’re surrounded by other kids with their own devices — many of which aren’t filtered at all. Researchers tell us that 90% of teen boys and 60% of teen girls have seen pornography by age 18 and that the average age of first viewing is 12.

2. Pornography is so readily available in such massive supply online, it’s considered normal to many Americans.

More than 30% of all downloads from the Internet were pornographic material. Porn sites collectively garner more hits than Internet giants such as Netflix, Twitter, and Amazon. Over time, this tsunami of material serves to desensitize our culture and normalize what was once taboo. This means parents must be that much more intentional in drawing the moral lines clearly for their children and making them aware of the costs of crossing them.

3. A significant number of porn sites promote things far more disturbing than consensual adult sex.

A startling number of young people are being exposed to things like bestiality, child pornography, bondage, and physical violence in a sexual context and other damaging images in their search for porn. They get much “more than they bargained for” in the worst possible sense. Once those images are seen, they’re very difficult to forget.

4. Sexual addictions, including addictions to online pornography, are having a negative impact on marriages.

Matrimonial lawyers say that pornography is playing a role in a rising number of divorce proceedings. Whether it’s a habit which becomes an addiction or an on-ramp to real-life marital infidelity, it can and does erode relationships. Check out these thoughts on the effects of porn on marriage.

5. Teens who view porn are much more likely to be sexually active.

What’s more, these teens are far more likely to suffer depression and low self-esteem. Graphic sexual context disorients teenagers during a key developmental phase in which they’re learning how to handle their own sexuality and the moral values associated with it.

So what’s the bottom line? The stakes for your children are higher than they–and possibly you–even realize. Experts tell us that the most frightening thing about the societal impact of constantly available pornography is that we haven’t even had a chance to see the upper end. The first generation to come of age in a culture saturated with porn is only now entering adulthood, and we won’t know the long-term sociological costs for some time yet. The answer is not to feel frightened or overwhelmed. But resolve to be intentional about shaping your child’s thinking related to these things so that he or she understands right from wrong when temptation presents itself. And keep that temptation away from them as long as possible through practical means. You can do it, mom! But you’ve got to get your head in the game.

(Here’s help for another important discussion you need to have with your child: Waiting for Sex TALK Conversation Starters.)

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What safeguards do you have in place to protect your kids from pornography?


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