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10 Ways to Care for Yourself After Divorce

When I became a single mom, I wanted to figure out how to be the best “me” possible. I wanted to take care of myself so my daughter would have a strong mom to look up to. One of the memorable moments of clarity came to me when someone said, “You need to focus on stability!” The word “stability” grabbed my attention. With all the pain and loss we were going through, it changed my focus after divorce from brokenness to stability.

It’s impossible to take something that’s broken and make it stable without caring for it. So if you’re searching for stability as you enter your new life’s healthy rhythm, here are 10 ways to care for yourself.

It's impossible to take something that's broken and make it stable without caring for it. Click To Tweet

Care for yourself emotionally.

1. Seek a safe and healthy person to talk to regularly. This could be a therapist, a coach, a pastor, or a trusted friend. This person doesn’t add to the pain but listens with wisdom and love. Don’t isolate yourself and try to survive alone. We are made for community, and healing happens best when we walk with others on the path.

2. Consider finding and attending DivorceCare meetings or a small group for divorce adjustment. Check into what support is offered by a local church.

3. Become familiar with the signs of depression and talk to your counselor or doctor. Needing extra care is normal in the first year or two after divorce.

4. Make a “fun plan” when kids are away instead of spending time alone. If alone time is the thing you’ve been craving, consider what hobby or form of relaxation you can do sans kids.

5. Pick one or two activities to do with your children that will help you bond. Explore activities that don’t include electronics or television. The laughter and the memories of this time will add to the well-being you experience together.

Care for yourself physically.

6. Get regular sleep, and talk to your doctor if you struggle to sleep.

7. Walk! Make it a point to get outside a few times a week for a brisk walk around the neighborhood or local park. Simply being in the sunshine helps increase your vitamin D level and improves your cardio system. Consider using some of your walking time to talk (and listen) to God.

8. Try a new activity like bowling, swimming, yoga, or biking. Push yourself outside your comfort zone and try something new until you find an activity you truly enjoy.

9. Eating healthy has priceless rewards for everyone. Enjoying a relaxed, healthy dinner at the table with your children will feed your body and soul.

10. Slow down. Children need time with you, which often gets overlooked after divorce. Simply turning off the TV and tablets and inviting the kids into the kitchen to help prepare dinner can create a peaceful space where they see that you are available to talk.

What one thing can you do to enjoy the journey of creating a new and stable version of life for yourself and your children?

Tammy Daughtry, MMFT is the author of the book Co-Parenting Works! Helping Your Children Thrive after Divorce and the creator of the DVD One Heart, Two Homes: Co-Parenting Kids of Divorce to a Positive Future.

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