It’s kind of crazy how even a small gesture of affection can yield big results in marriage. When my husband and I see each other after work, the entire trajectory of the evening changes if one of us takes just a few seconds to show affection: a real hug, a “Hey, you still look great even after a long day,” or a warm, conspiratorial smile that says we’re in this together.
Small gestures can have a big ripple effect on your relationships, especially your marriage. When we show affection to our husbands, they feel noticed, respected, and desired. Showing affection doesn’t have to be complicated or over-the-top. Little things go a long way. Here are 20 simple ways to show your husband affection. Try one or two today and see how he responds.
1. A real kiss—make it last longer than five seconds.
2. Sit close to him. Touch produces oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which is good for both of you.
3. Emotional affection counts too. Post a favorite pic of him, and in the caption, list lots of reasons you’re grateful for him.
4. Create a playlist of songs that remind you of milestones in your relationship, like your wedding song or a song from the first movie you saw together.
5. Initiate sex. If your life feels too chaotic for sex, here are some ways to make it work.
6. Send him a text to tell him what you admire in him.
7. Rub his shoulders when he’s stressed.
8. Scratch his back.
9. Leave him a note where he’d least expect to find one—maybe even make it a scavenger hunt with a nice reward at the end.
10. Buy him a simple gift that says you know him and are thinking of him—his favorite gum, coffee, or protein bar.
11. Smile at him when he’s not expecting it, from across an aisle at a store or across a room at a party.
12. Curl up next to him in bed and rest your head on his chest.
13. Tell him why you are proud of him.
14. Check him out from head to toe and be sure he catches you doing it.
15. Kiss him on the head as you walk by him sitting in the living room.
16. Write him a love letter.
17. Play with him—a Nerf gun war, mini-basketball, a game of catch.
18. Ask him to take a break from his chores and use that time to hang out together.
19. Start and end the day with a kiss.
20. Join in his hobby if he asks you to—and stay cheerful while you’re watching soccer, fishing, or playing video games.
These are simple, mostly free, and require just a bit of intentionality. And if you need other ideas, ask your husband to tell you his favorite way for you to show him affection.
How does your husband like you to show affection?
