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6 Survival Tips for Single Moms

Never in a thousand years did I think I’d one day be writing about being a single mom. And maybe you never thought you’d be reading tips for single moms. Yet, here we are. My husband passed away leaving me to raise my seven kids on my own.

Are you a widow, divorced, or never married? No matter how you got to the title of “single mom,” you surely know how hard it is. Single parenting will take all the grit and grace we’ve got. While I continue to learn every day, here are my top 6 survival tips for single moms.

1. Stop comparing.

Life as a single mom will not look like the lives of married friends, nor will it look like life when we were married. Surviving well as a single mom will take all our energy and focus on the tasks before us. Comparing to friends in different situations will only breed discontent and deplete our energy and focus.

2. Give grace to yourself and your kids.

The follow-up step to putting down the comparison glasses is to give ourselves—and our kids—grace. There were significant changes and serious losses that got us here. I need to give myself grace when I can’t do everything on my plate. I need to give my kids grace to process their emotions and to get their footing in this new normal.

3. Remember self-care.

Single moms are busy. While we make sure our kids’ needs are met and juggle home, work, and finances, it’s easy to put off our own self-care. Make your own yearly checkups, dental visits, exercise, and time for self-care an equal priority. These needs are just as essential as your children’s.

4. Allow people to help you.

It’s hard to admit we need help. But friends and family often want to help if we will let them. Graciously accept offers to help and keep a list of needs to give to people who genuinely ask how. I’m still learning this and was blessed recently when a church youth group cleaned mounds of debris from our yard after a hurricane.

5. Seek outside counsel.

Decision fatigue may be the hardest part of single parenting. Look for an older, trusted friend who can be a sounding board for parenting decisions. Seek out financial counselors who can help with budgeting and financial decisions. Find a pastor or lay leader in your church who can steer you through difficult decisions.

6. Maintain friendships.

It’s easy for single moms to become isolated. I have to be purposeful not to let my friendships go. I have to allow myself to take an evening out without kids or a morning out for coffee. These friendships refresh and restore us so we have more to pour into our kids and our work.

What are some other survival tips you would recommend to single moms?

ASK YOUR CHILD...

If you were stranded on a desert island, what three things would you take with you for survival?

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