As the holidays approach, many of us turn our attention to people in need. But there’s a group that endures great hardship and yet is often overlooked—the military family. If we aren’t part of one, most of us don’t stop to think about the responsibilities and hurts these families bear. Throughout the year, they sacrifice time spent with their spouses or parents during deployments. They sacrifice friendships and a stable home life each time they move across the country. And they sacrifice peace of mind because somebody they love might be in danger.
So this holiday season, be grateful for your loved ones and be present to the military families whose loved ones are deployed. All of us should honor them for these three reasons.
1. Military families face geographical distance.
While most Americans think of deployment as our country’s chance to keep peace around the world, deployment means something else to military families—long separations, emotional distress, and lifestyle adjustments. Most of us say goodbye to our children for the next eight hours. Parents who deploy say goodbye for the next six months. Imagine missing the birth of your child, fearing your infant will forget who you are, feeling guilty for knowing your spouse is alone while at the same time worrying that your family will do a little too well without you.
The family at home doesn’t have it much easier. Military spouses suddenly find themselves acting as a single parent and often in cities where they have no family. At the holidays, military families may have Christmas dinner and ring in the New Year as an incomplete unit, while the deployed member spends the day without family in a foreign or even hostile country.
2. Military families face frequent moves.
Over the years the military family moves often, relinquishing a stable home life, leaving behind friends, and enduring an erratic civilian career. The impact of this transient lifestyle often hits home hardest during the holidays. Of course most civilian families will experience a move due to a job transfer at some point, but military families are uprooted every few years. In fact, “uprooted” is a misnomer, because they are never in one place long enough to plant deep roots. This is a season intended to be celebrated with loved ones, but what about the military family who just moved to a new town and can’t afford to travel to see family or friends?
3. Military families face unique fears.
Another way military families sacrifice is the emotional toll from worrying over the safety of their loved one and the stress of the lifestyle. But even with these powerful emotions present, the family often suppresses these concerns out of benefit for the military member. Military spouses are reluctant to express frustrations when talking with their deployed partner. They put aside disgust at living where they don’t want to live for the next three years. They try to make the holidays festive even though part of the family is away.
So as you consider helping people in need this holiday season, recognize that the families of military personnel make extensive sacrifices that civilian families don’t. If you know a military family that is enduring a loved one’s deployment, consider making them a part of your family over the holidays. Offer to take a family portrait by the Christmas tree or Menorah to send to the deployed family member. However you may choose to help a military family, you help give peace of mind to a military member who is risking so much for our freedom.
What are some ways we all could honor and support military families?
