“Mom? Can you connect me? I have math homework.” My daughter walked through the door, dropped her two-ton backpack, and pulled out her laptop. After a day of online learning (er, going to school and using her laptop in class), she had more online learning to do at home. It frustrated me. But because I felt pinned by our school’s tech choices, I had to lift the screen-time limits we’d set at home and allow her to connect.
I want to teach responsible tech habits to help my child to thrive online. I also want her to succeed in school but not become addicted to, or completely dependent on, screens. As parents, we have the power to help our kids develop that perspective. Whether it’s a phone, iPad, or personal computer, there are 3 things kids need to thrive online.
1. Parental Oversight and Support
I ran into a fellow mom I hadn’t seen in a while, and when we started chatting about our boys, she mentioned her son spends a lot of time in his room playing video games. She admitted she didn’t know what game or with what kids. It made me think that where we put computers and allow phones in our homes really matters. And one of the things kids need to thrive online is clear limits.
Being aware of and limiting your kids’ tech use will help them thrive online. “Ask your child to demonstrate the games and apps they use to better understand what they play, why it’s fun [along with] possible pitfalls they may encounter,” says eSafety.gov. Later, take note of how your child acts. How is his energy level? His mood? How does screen time make him feel when it’s done? Help your child recognize the effects of technology and make adjustments where needed.
2. Self-Awareness and Personal Time Management
Easier said than done, right? I’m working on it myself. I bought my kids a cheap timer to use when they do homework online. After a set amount of time (say, 30 to 45 minutes), they need to get up and take a break. With gaming, it may be harder to stop in the middle of a virtual battle, but encouraging kids to be mindful of time spent (or lost) online is valuable for the long haul. Teaching your kids to be in control of screen time (instead of the tech controlling them) is not only empowering but encourages responsibility.
Too much screen time can affect kids’ sleep, mental health, posture, weight, and eyesight and it can also increase the number of family conflicts, according to the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding. Same thing goes for trouble sleeping at night. Awareness is one of the first steps a kid (or anyone) can take to curb a bad habit.
3. A Healthy Balance
Screens are going to be with kids throughout their lives. Instead of ignoring the issue (or just wishing the problem would go away), talk about the pros and cons. Point out the benefits of being off their laptops and how being active is good for growing bones and muscles. But acknowledge the positive side too: we all enjoy time online because it’s fun, it can be relaxing, and it can help us connect with others. When kids receive a balanced response from us, they might be more apt to follow our lead.
One of the things kids need to thrive online is your encouragement to find other options, even if you have to tolerate the occasional cry of boredom. Play with them, get them up and moving, and model responsible tech use yourself. Let’s not let tech be our only source of fun but one of several options. Our kids are watching us. What do you do for fun in your downtime?
What are some other things kids need to thrive online in a tech-centered world?
