Stephen Covey, the author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, shared a powerful illustration of the priority we give things. Imagine you had to fit several large rocks, a bunch of pebbles, and a good amount of sand into a jar. What would you put in first? If you start with the sand, there won’t be anywhere for the rocks and pebbles to go. However, if you place the large rocks in first, the pebbles and sand will fill in the space between them.
Just like that jar, our lives have a limited amount of space, and the order in which we fill that space matters. We have to focus on the things that matter. But how do you know which things to focus on? That answer is different for each person, but we’ve identified 3 “biggies” that resonate with most moms.
Our lives have a limited amount of space, and the order in which we fill that space matters. Click To Tweet1. Relationships
You can have a wonderful career, a beautiful home, and a bank account that overflows, but if there’s no one to share it with, it’s pretty hollow. So when you’re faced with a choice between building stronger relationships—with your spouse, your children, even with friends—and building other things, choose the people. And remember: the time you have to engage in a daily relationship with your children is fleeting. Consider the things you want your kids to remember about you and their childhood.
2. Your Spiritual Life
I’ve found that a relationship with God gives meaning to difficulty and suffering, and it makes the joys I experience sweeter. People who invest in their spiritual lives are healthier, according to research. Still, we fill our days with work and activities that pull us away from church, prayer, quiet time in nature—all things that can help a spiritual life flourish.
3. Good Health
When I was in my twenties, a doctor told my father he needed to stop drinking and smoking. He said he couldn’t do either. A year later, he was gone. He was never able to meet my husband, who I met five years later, nor my kids. Take care of your body for the sake of your family and yourself. Your kids want you around for as long as possible. While there are some things we can’t prevent, regular exercise and healthy eating (along with kicking bad habits) can increase the chances that we’ll be able to share life and make memories with the ones we love for a long time.
What if two of your things conflict?
What if investing in one of these means sacrificing another? For example, a friend of mine invests in his relationship with his 12-year-old son by coaching his soccer team. That means he can’t be at church on Sunday morning when there are games scheduled. It’s true that you can’t do it all, but chances are, if you’re really placing these three things that matter at the top of your list—if these are the “big rocks” that go in first—you’ll be able to make it happen. In my friend’s case, he makes time to go to his church’s Saturday evening service instead of Sunday morning, or his son wears his uniform to church on Sunday, and they hop in the car right after to head to the field.
What are the three most essential things in your life?
