Search
Close this search box.

Share what kind of mom you are!

Get to know other mom types!

3 Tips for Getting Kids to Pick Up After Themselves

Do your kids lack cleaning motivation? Are you tired of picking up after your family? A friend of mine left a sock on the living room floor to see how long it would take for anyone in her family (other than her) to pick it up. Every day, I checked Facebook for an update. Two weeks! The sock stayed on the floor for two whole weeks. And get this—she’s the one who picked it up. She’d finally had enough.

My friend felt like she was the only one who cared. If you feel the same way, I hate to break it to you, but your kids really don’t care. They’re kids. If you expect them to be motivated by the same things you are, you’re in for a boatload of frustration. Your challenge is to figure out what motivates them. Spark their tidying and cleaning motivation without nagging with these 3 ways to get your kids to pick up after themselves.

1. “Feel free to ____ after your things are picked up.”

This one works great for small children and teenagers. It requires that the incentive is highly motivating for them. What fills in the blank can be anything. “Feel free to watch TV when you’ve picked up the toys you were playing with.” “Feel free to take the car tonight when you’ve put your laundry away.” Even if you’re tired of picking up after them, resist talking to your kids in a threatening or manipulative way. That will only cause the situation to escalate into a fighting match. Just calmly go about your business as they struggle with their decision. And no matter what they do to cajole you into relenting, hold fast to your resolve. Over time they’ll learn that when you start to say, “Feel free…” they will respond with, “Yeah, I get it. I’ll just go pick up my things.”

2. “Would you like me to clean that up, or would you like to do it?”

This was one of my favorites when my kids were young. I told my kids that my time is expensive. I require $20 an hour for cleaning up after people. Would they like to pay me for the time it takes to clean up after them, or would they like to do that themselves? Of course, school-age kids don’t have disposable income, so they couldn’t afford to hire me. Payment would come from my selling their stuff. I only had to do that once. But they learned that if I asked who they wanted to clean up, they should quickly go do it themselves. After asking the question the first couple of times I would follow it up with, “I’ll know in five minutes what you’ve chosen.” After time was up I would head to the mess and start cleaning it. They would screech and come running, shouting, “I’m going to do it! Stop cleaning, Mom!” Talk about cleaning motivation! That was music to my ears.

3. Limit how much can be out at a time.

Young kids are like a tornado and lose interest quickly with toys. Once they get too much out, trying to clean it up can be overwhelming. As an adult, whenever I face a big job I can get overwhelmed and avoid it. Smaller jobs are less intimidating. Require that they clean up one thing before starting something new. And follow that rule yourself as well. Complete one thing at a time before you start something new.

When you look around at the mess, remind yourself it’s temporary. That doesn’t mean you should allow your kids to destroy the house or have zero standards for cleanliness. It does mean you accept that your kids are little people who need their space, and you only have to share that space for about 18 years. Let that reminder bring you a few more minutes of patience as you walk by that sock on the floor.

How do you get your kids to pick up after themselves?

Even if you're tired of picking up after them, resist talking to your kids in a threatening or manipulative way. Click To Tweet

ASK YOUR CHILD...

What is one of your favorite chores and one of your least favorite chores?

Get daily motherhood

ideas, insight, &inspiration

to your inbox!

Search