I sat at the foot of the bed with crossed arms and my mind made up while I ugly-cried: “I will never meet another man who wants me.” I was single again, unexpectedly. The path I had been on had been pulled out from under me. By text message. On New Year’s Day.
I was single, and I didn’t want to be. I grieved, which is natural and good. I also threw a pity party rooted in what I once believed about being single. But back then, the beliefs I had about being single weren’t true. Are yours? Here are 4 lies to reject about being single.
1. “Nobody wants to be with someone like me.”
If you have met all the people, asked all the people if they want to be with someone like you, and all the people said no, then you’re right. But you have not met all the people. You have not asked all the people if they want to be with you. That story about being single isn’t true. What is true is that whether you are in a relationship now does not determine whether other people exist who’d want to be in a relationship with you.
2. “I’ll never meet a man who meets my standards.”
If you are a time traveler, then by virtue of having done your homework, you could be right. But you are not a time traveler. Science says it is impossible for you to know right now all the things you’ll know at the end of your life. I know a lot of ladies who once said, “I’ll never meet a man who meets my standards.” And now, they are happily married to good men who meet their standards.
3. “Staying single, even for a little while, is a bad idea.”
A wise, old priest named Benedict Groeschel once said, “Some people must accept that, in the Providence of God, they have been called to a single life. Worse things could happen!” Neither I nor Groeschel is asking you to decide today to stay single forever. But we are asking you to remember this: your life has meaning and purpose and makes an important impact on the world around you, regardless of your marital status.
4. “I’m unlovable (or unattractive, or boring, etc.).”
If you are not a human, then maybe. But you are a human, and I believe humans are of intrinsic, infinite value, on the never-ending receiving end of authentic love and unabashed affection from the Creator of the universe, in whose not-unattractive, not-boring image I also believe you are created. And you are not just lovable. You are already loved.
What lies about being a single mom should we stop believing?