Search
Close this search box.

Share what kind of mom you are!

Get to know other mom types!

4 Questions to Ask Before Dating as a Single Mom

In the months after I became a widow and single mom, I was surprised how quickly my kids brought up the subject of dating. Two encouraged it, four were silent about it, and one was downright angry over even talking about it.

Dating when you’re a single mom is complicated for multiple reasons. Sharing a position at the top of that list are protecting your heart and the impact dating has on your children. Some even advise not to start dating again until children are 18 years or older. But what if you want to start dating again before then? Let’s look at 4 questions surrounding dating as a single mom.

1. Do you need your child’s permission to date?

No, a parent doesn’t need her child’s permission to date. But what is permissible is not always beneficial. If a child is sullen, angry or withdrawn about dating, address why and work through those emotions with him. That child is likely still grieving and hurt, which needs attention and processing before anyone new is brought home to the family.

2. Do you have the margin?

Though dating may seem like the answer to all sorrows and losses, our primary role is Mom. In some cases, we’re our children’s only parent. Time, energy, and attention are scarce for a single mom juggling home, work, finances and more. Beginning to date will further divide already limited time and attention and may take a single parent away from her children in formative years that you can’t get back.

3. Is it safe?

Dating as a single mom opens the possibility of other adults coming into our home and interacting with our children. We must make absolutely certain our children are always safe physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Moving too fast can blind us to problems like a pattern of behavior, money issues, or family drama.

4. How do you introduce dating to children?

If you do decide to go on a date and your kids are old enough to understand dating relationships, don’t lie to them about where you’re going. Reassure them that you’re safe and getting to know each other. Answer your kids’ questions, but don’t overshare. When the time comes, introduce someone new slowly and carefully. Your kids will begin to form a relationship with this new person, especially if he vills some void in their lives.

How have your children responded to conversations about you dating again?

ASK YOUR CHILD...

Let’s plan a lazy day. What can we do at home to relax together?

Get daily motherhood

ideas, insight, &inspiration

to your inbox!

Search