“Honey, the yard looks great, but you missed a patch right there.” When I said that to my husband, his proud shoulder slumped. He looked over and said, “You could have left it at ‘looks great.’ Why add the critique?” I was at a loss for words as I realized my timing was pretty lousy. He’s a words of affirmation guy, so compliments mean a lot to him. To chase a compliment with criticism was deflating.
Most guys appreciate hearing women vocalize praise. There are a few compliments for men that hit the mark. Could you compliment your husband on one of these four areas sometime today?
1. Compliment him on something physical.
I recently saw my husband walking in the distance and noticed his stride had confidence and purpose. When he reached me, I said, “You have such a strong walk.” Compliment your husband’s smile, his eyes, or his hands. Tell him he looks good when he leaves for work, for church, or to work out. Try to pick a specific feature that other people wouldn’t notice, like his back or shoulders, and you’ll create a moment of intimacy.
2. Compliment him on something mental or emotional.
I have a friend, Jenni, whose husband is a wiz at trivia. One night, as we played at a local bar, Jenni said to him, “How do you know all this?” Another friend jumped to her defense and said, “Jenni! You’re smart too!” as if Jenni pointing out her husband’s intelligence somehow suggested she was inferior. Does your ego stop you from telling your husband when he says or does something wise? It takes wisdom and intelligence to recognize wisdom and intelligence, so pour on the compliments.
Most compliments for men that resonate aren’t about their emotions, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t important. Even if your husband is tight-lipped with his feelings, look for ways to show admiration verbally. If he’s level-headed when one of the kids is having a tantrum or steady in times of crisis, tell him you notice and appreciate it.
3. Compliment him on his role in your family.
Who is your husband in the mix of your family? Is he the comic relief? The provider? The safe place? The adventurer? Look at what he does for you and the kids, and tell him what it means to you. Use specific words like, “I know you worked hard to get that promotion. You deserved it. They’re lucky to have you, and so are we.” If you want him to be more involved with your children, complimenting him when he does things you appreciate might get him to do it more often. After all, we all like to do things we’re good at!
Look at what your husband does for you and the kids, and tell him what it means to you. Click To Tweet4. Compliment him on the way he treats you.
I’m guilty of thinking things and not saying them out loud. And I’m not talking about critical things. Those often come out without much thought. Every Sunday, my husband lets the dog out so I can sleep past 7. When I get up 40 minutes later, I rarely say thanks. I appreciate that he always comes to me for a kiss when he gets home, but I don’t ever speak those words.
If your husband listens well, defends you to your mom when she piles on the criticism, or always saves the last scoop of ice cream for you, show him you notice by paying him a sincere compliment. Men like hearing that they are successful in making their wives feel loved and secure. Try this one: “I always know that as long as you’re around, I’m safe.”
What types of compliments for men mean the most to your husband?
