Search
Close this search box.

Share what kind of mom you are!

Get to know other mom types!

4 Ways to Show Yourself Grace

I was homeschooling our kids, and it was one of those days. I had a pounding headache, and all I wanted to do was lie down. So I did—and it felt good. I was proud of myself for listening to my body. I knew trying to manage my rowdy “students” while feeling so miserable would end in yelling and tears. But the next thing I knew, homeschool looked more like no school, and all I could think was that my kids were going to have to make up the lesson and we would fall behind. That’s when guilt and shame came flooding in.

No matter how hard we try, there will be failure and moments we don’t meet the expectations we’ve placed on ourselves as moms. The key to learning from our so-called mom mistakes and moving past those tough days is to recognize where we fell short, make it right as best we can, and try again tomorrow. Here are 4 ways to do that.

1. Take your own advice.

You’ve undoubtedly had to walk each of your children through the process of owning a failure and learning from it. You probably said something like, “Admit what you did was wrong, say you’re sorry, and don’t do it again.” So simple a child could understand it, right? If what you’ve done is an actual mess-up, then listen to your own advice.

If you’re just being hard on yourself and struggling to let go of the guilt, think about what you’d say to a friend who came to you with the same story. You’d probably tell her she’s crazy, and then you’d point out all the ways she’s amazing. Be as kind and gracious to yourself as you are to others.

Be as kind and gracious to yourself as you are to others. Click To Tweet

2. Recognize unrealistic expectations. 

You’ll never be happy with yourself as a mom if you set the bar unreasonably high based on the avalanche of parenting advice and news we hear. Most of these tips are designed to give you an ideal picture to aim for, but no one is expected to do everything right all the time. Whenever I look at a list on iMOM, I think, Am I doing 80% of these things at least some of the time? Or am I doing a few things really well? If I can say yes, then I count it as a win. You can apply the same principle to your own efforts in home management, nutrition, and health. Use your energy to move in the right direction every day rather than looking for a finish line.

3. Don’t believe the hype.

We all know a mom who comes to every class party dressed like a model and bearing a tray of hand-decorated cookies. Even if you walked out of the house feeling great, as soon as you see her, you start to criticize yourself. Remember, all you see is what she wants you to see. She might be completely put together, or she might be frazzled and faking it. The point here is not to compare but to realize we all have different gifts.

4. Accept forgiveness.

If you are upset with yourself for yelling, missing your child’s game, or letting down a girlfriend who needed you, carrying it around after being forgiven is like tying a cinderblock to your ankle during a marathon. Why make things hard on yourself? You might need to say it out loud to yourself: “I let go of the guilt!” Or write it down and throw the paper away.

What’s an area of motherhood in which you find you’re too hard on yourself?

ASK YOUR CHILD...

Have you ever done something that made you feel guilty for a long time? What was it?

Get daily motherhood

ideas, insight, &inspiration

to your inbox!

Search