We all face parenting problems while on the roller coaster of raising kids. There are amazing moments followed by the lowest of lows. As a therapist, I often walk people through common parenting struggles and help them work through what is best for their child.
Parents face difficult issues like discipline, poor friend choices, bad decision making of their kids, and school problems all the time. I’ve found that the biggest parenting struggles aren’t always as much about the child, but the parent’s issues that make it more complicated.
Parenting is hard and full of struggles enough without a parent’s issues getting in the way. Do you struggle with any of these 5 common parenting problems?
1. Fear
When parents struggle with fear, it often causes them to think the worst case scenario. They play the constant ‘what if’ game that keeps them from staying in the moment. Fear that something bad will happen to your child, that you aren’t a good mom, or that you are making all the wrong decisions will exploit all your insecurities. The best way to combat this parenting struggle is to look at what’s true. When you take a step back and look at the reality in front of you, it will often shift your thinking to focus on the here and now. Here are some steps to take if fear is making you wonder if you’re a good mom.
2. Anger
Kids don’t always listen and can drive us to the edge. If you have a child that pushes your buttons, you might have parenting problems with getting angry. If you notice your anger flaring up, take a minute to remind yourself that you are the adult and have the control. When anger gets involved, you often hand your parental control over. If you want to maintain your control, you need to stay in control of your anger.
3. Doubt
Do you second guess everything and worry you’ve made the wrong choice? This will often lead to a lack of confidence, changing your mind, and not following through. As parents, it is important for our kids to be consistent and follow through. This helps them feel stable and secure. Don’t let your doubt create a roller coaster effect in your family.
4. Control
It feels good to have control, but some parents can be too controlling. This can add on big complications when your child is dealing with common kids struggles with friends, school, and at home. Being controlling can keep your child from learning lessons they need to learn to grow. There are many points where you need to take a step back and let your child figure things out. Letting go can be hard, but controlling will hinder their growth.
5. High expectations
Every parent wants their child to be successful, but some parents have such high expectations that their child feels pressure. When a child feels pressure they can become overwhelmed, get depressed, or rebel. Make sure that your expectations are realistic and attainable for your child. You want to set them up for success, not failure.
If you relate to the struggles, you might see that you’ve fallen into one of these self-destructive traps for moms.
What are some of the hardest issues that have gotten in your way of parenting?
Teri Claassen is a Jesus follower, wife to Dan, mommy to one boy and one girl, a foster mom to kids in need, and a therapist at Renewed Horizon Counseling in Tampa, FL.
