As a mom, you’ve likely had moments when you wondered if you were really cut out for the job. But if we were sitting across the table from each other at Starbucks right now, I’d look you in the eye and tell you: You are not a failure. Piles of laundry in every room? Dirty dishes from the morning that never quite got washed? Stacks of storybooks that haven’t been read to the kids yet? Feeling like a failure? You are not a failure!
Culture bombards us with messages that we must somehow measure up to some Mary Poppins positively perfect in every way standard. So if your unmade beds are bringing you down today, here are some reminders that, Mom, you are the best! Here are 5 reasons you are not a failure.
1. The messy house? It’s a sign of a happily busy home.
We stress ourselves out at the thought of someone stopping over when the floors haven’t been vacuumed or the table is cluttered with mail and school projects. But those crumbs and piles of books are signs of fun days filled with yummy snack times with your toddler or teachable moments with your tween. Think of the look on your kids’ faces when you spontaneously put the broom down and trade it for an imaginary sword to fight off the bad guys from behind the couch cushion fort. It’s so worth it. That laundry? As long as your people have clean underwear, you can take a day off to spend quality time with the kids. The laundry will be there tomorrow.
Until then, pick up an empty laundry basket and fill it with your squirmy, irresistibly squishy, busy little toddler and push and spin him or her around the room until he or she squeals with joy. Or make a new home for a favorite doll. That’s much more fun.
You are not a failure.
2. Let the kids just be kids? It’s part of the process.
Despite the toddler tantrum in aisle seven at Target over that must-have toy or when your teenager sasses back or slams the door, they love you because you are parenting them, day in and day out. Besides, who sits up with them at night when they are sick or feel bad? Who makes her teenage daughter’s favorite dessert when she suffers heartbreak? Who still opens her arms with love, even after the tenth straight timeout of the day?
You are not a failure.
3. Another meal of pizza? Give yourself an A for effort!
Sure, we’d love to feed our kids organic, home-cooked meals every time they sit down to eat, but that’s just an ideal. The reality is that as long as we’re serving what we serve with love, it’s OK. Plus, what’s the good of a dream meal if you’re stressed out about it? Do the best you can to get your kids to eat vegetables and fruits. But realize that as long as they’re eating enough, they will continue to grow and develop. If it makes you feel better, serve fruit with your takeout.
You are not a failure.
4. The other perfect moms? You are perfect for your family!
You may not know it, but that other mom is not perfect, either. Maybe her house always looks cleaner when you go over for playdates. Maybe she always looks put together at work or her kids’ hair is always perfectly brushed and clothes never have a wrinkle. But we never know what’s really going on in someone else’s life. Don’t compare. Be confident in who you are and your strengths only.
5. Today didn’t go quite as planned? You’re teaching by example.
When we make mistakes, we gain the opportunity to teach our children how to handle challenges. Tomorrow is a new day. Did you lose your cool? Show your kids that they can pray that God will give more peace tomorrow. Didn’t make it to the park? Make a do-over plan and promise to go the next day—you’re teaching your children flexibility with that one. Remember God gives you new mercies each morning. A new day is another opportunity to do things better.
Look around you, take a deep breath, and love your beautiful imperfect life. You are not a failure.
Tell us! What can you do today to remind yourself of your worth?
