In the dark at 6:07 a.m., I stood watching the coffee fill my mug and my daughter asked another question—her fifth since waking up at 6. If there were such a thing as Toddler Olympics, my daughter would receive the gold medal in asking questions. A large part of toddler parenting is fielding rapid-fire questions about anything and everything. One study revealed the average toddler asks 73 questions per day.
I’d say most of the questions my daughter asks are questions I don’t know the answer to, so I meet most of them with “I don’t know” or “I’m not quite sure.” Other times, I offer a simple no—like when she asks if she can have chocolate for breakfast. But there are some questions toddlers ask that always deserve a yes. Unless there is a legitimate reason other than inconvenience, we should all give an enthusiastic yes to these 5 questions.
1. “Can I help you?”
Toddlers do this cool thing where they become enthusiastic about life when we welcome their help. My daughter particularly enjoys helping me around the house. So even though it takes three times as long to unload the dishwasher, I let her help when she asks. She often invites her younger brother to help as well and applauds him when he does something well. Saying “yes” to a toddler’s request to lend a helping hand is a great opportunity to practice teamwork within a family.
Saying “yes” to a toddler’s request to lend a helping hand is a great opportunity to practice teamwork within a family. Click To Tweet2. “Will you read me a book?”
Both of my children enjoy being read to—and they particularly enjoy having the same six books read to them over and over again. There are countless reasons you shouldn’t say no to toddlers who want to read, like nurturing their vocabulary and helping their recognition of letter sounds. So even though I don’t particularly want to read another page of Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?, I still act surprised when he sees a red bird looking at him.
3. “Can you stay a little longer?”
My daughter pulls out all the stops when she’s prolonging bedtime. Her bladder instantaneously fills up, her throat becomes as dry as the Sahara, and she suddenly wants to know why Earth rotates around the Sun. And when she has come to the end of her procrastination schtick, she simply asks us to stay a little longer—and we do.
We don’t stay forever, but we do stay for another minute or so before offering one last kiss and shuffling out of her room. When toddlers ask us to stay a little longer, they’re communicating a need they have in that moment—a need to feel close to us, to feel loved by us, or to feel protected by us.
4. “Will you play with me?”
Toddler play can be exhausting. My kids like to play the same things over and over, but they also want me to play exactly how they tell me to (which is also the same every time), so it’s like the game that never ends. Even though I often want to say no to playtime, I try my best to say yes whenever I am free to play. Engaging with our children in play strengthens our bond with them, supports social development, and improves their leadership and communication skills, among other things.
5. “Can I try that?”
As adults who’ve lived long-ish lives already, it can be difficult to remember that for a toddler, everything is new. I exercise at home regularly, and my kids often jump in and follow along. I’ve used dumbbells many times without their interest (understandably so—they’re heavy), so it surprised me when my daughter asked to try them out. I handed her the lightest one and she gave it a go. It was quite heavy for her, but she succeeded and was proud of her accomplishment!
Even the smallest things can feel like big adventures to kids, so you shouldn’t say no to a toddler who asks to try something, whether it’s a new food, a basic skill, or a cool (but not dangerous) trick.
Do you find yourself saying “no” to your toddler simply because saying “yes” would be an inconvenience for you or others?
