Does your husband think that you’re the bomb? Do you think your husband is? Thinking your spouse is the bomb is just another way of saying, “We’re an awesome team, and we’re in this parenting thing together!” If you’re at that good place in your marriage, great! If you’re not quite there, iSpecialist Kathy Peel gives 6 Solutions for 6 common marriage problems that can especially help if you think your husband is not stepping up enough at home.
1. Marriage Problem: Your husband doesn’t appreciate what you do at home.
His standard greeting as he comes in the door and glances around the messy living room is, “So what did you do all day?” You are irritated because he doesn’t appreciate your hard work at home and in fact expects you to do more to meet his needs.
Solution: Schedule time to talk with him alone. Before bringing up your feelings, listen to his. Tell him your goal is to be a good wife, mother, and family manager. Talk about how you can work together to make your home run more smoothly.
2. Marriage Problem: Your husband spends too little time helping out.
Whether it is with housecleaning, cooking, or caring for your children-it’s never enough to actually make a dent.
Solution: Take time to discuss your need for help and why he hasn’t done more to assist you. Perhaps he felt he’d be intruding your territory, so he backed off. Maybe he has tried in the past and your standards were so high he felt frustrated and scolded rather than appreciated for his effort.
3. Marriage Problem: You try to make him feel guilty for refusing to step up and help around the house.
You’re frustrated by his uncooperative attitude.
Solution: Trying to manipulate him using guilt usually worsens the situation. Instead, thank him any time you catch him helping around the house. Also, consider that many men like options. Rather than ordering him to do something, give him a list of chores and ask him to select several to complete.
4. Marriage Problem: He’s oblivious.
While it’s perfectly obvious to you what needs to be done around the house, your husband seems totally oblivious. You get tired of telling him to do the same things over and over.
Solution: Besides being gracious and patient, keep in mind that everyone is different, and he actually really might not see what needs to be done. There are areas in all of our lives where we don’t live up to each other’s expectations. See solutions 1-3 for ideas on how to approach him.
5. Marriage Problem: You don’t engage.
You’ve come to see your husband as little more than your backup in managing one crisis after another in your household. You seldom interact unless you’re dealing with a problem.
Solution: If you find yourself resenting your husband or appreciating him only for the help he offers around the house, be careful. Such an attitude will erode your marriage. Begin giving to your marriage, whether by a monthly date night or by regularly praying together.
6. Marriage Problem: You’re at a loss.
You feel like your marriage is in trouble, but you don’t know what to do.
Solution: Ask your husband if he would be willing to go with you to a counselor. If he won’t go, you can gain insight by going on your own.
Used with permission from Kathy Peel.
Tell us! What is your most common marriage problem?