One key to being a single mom is finding what works and sticking to it. You figure out how to juggle the schedule, budget, and discipline by trial and error and once you find your groove, you stay in it for as long as possible! Unfortunately, a lot of women who do what works for their kids end up sacrificing their own health and well-being with some pretty unhealthy habits.
Clinical psychologist and author Teresa Whitehurst was a single mother of two young children. She wants all single moms to know that a key to sanity is recognizing unhealthy habits so you can break them before you become entrenched. Here are 6 habits that often go hand-in-hand with being a single mom.
1. Child-Centric Living
This habit causes you to focus all your efforts on your child, particularly if that child is experiencing problems. But giving your child too much attention is nearly as harmful as giving him or her too little.
2. Striving to Be Superwoman
Are you trying to be the perfect mother, employee, sister, daughter, girlfriend, friend, and everything else all rolled into one? Most moms feel this pressure, but single moms succumb to it even more. They want to over-achieve to show they can do it all without a man in the picture.
3. Playing the Martyr
Some think being a single mom means sacrificing every desire, explaining to others, “I couldn’t possibly take any time for myself; this is what I have to do.”
4. Deprivation Decision Making
This is feeling so deprived that you start saying yes to invitations even when you have no idea how you’ll line up child care or rearrange your schedule. And it leads to guaranteed burnout.
5. Child Blaming
This habit comes from getting overly tired and never getting a break. Eventually, you come to resent your children.
6. Self-Doubt
Motherhood involves some self-doubt, but if you take every moody complaint from your child to heart, and assume that he or she would be happy if you were only a better mother, you’re in an unhealthy place.
So what can you do if you’ve fallen into these unhealthy habits? First, be gentle with yourself. No mom is perfect. Sure, you might have messed up, but give yourself credit for trying. We’ve gathered some encouragement to help you break these habits. The two posts below are from single mothers who know how you feel and who want to cheer you on!
How can you break the cycle of unhealthy thinking that’s often part of being a single mom?
This article is based on the book God Loves Single Moms by Teresa Whitehurst.
