“That kid has some good core values,” a fellow teacher once told me about a student we were both teaching that year. “How can you tell?” I asked him. “Well, she was helping me line up some clay sculptures when she accidentally broke one. She didn’t know I was watching, and I didn’t want to embarrass her, so I didn’t say anything. But not five seconds later she walked over and told me what had happened. ‘You’ve got integrity, kid,’ I told her.”
Core values like integrity act like a navigation system that helps guide our children’s actions and behaviors. They affect every decision our kids will make from now through adulthood. Help your children develop these 7 core values, and you’ll be preparing them well for life.
1. Interdependence
You might have already started teaching your children that people are more important than things. Teaching interdependence is the next step. Convey to your children that relationships are important, and that their behavior in relationships affects the people involved. This core value matters because it is through relationships that our children will receive the emotional support they need in life. Interdependence with siblings, family, and friends gives them the opportunity to practice kindness, empathy, and even setting boundaries. Cultivating interdependence helps them relate to others in healthy ways and have stronger social connections, which will benefit their mental and physical health as adults.
Teach this core value: When your daughter shares some of her blueberries with her brother, say, “That sure did make your brother happy. You two are quite the team.” Or, when your son is invited to a playdate with new friends, say, “I’m glad you’re getting to know them. It will be great to have even more friends at school.” Point out how their actions and the actions of others affect relationships.
2. Resilience
Life comes with disappointments and setbacks. It’s important for kids to learn how to overcome painful obstacles. Learning to see setbacks as opportunities for growth teaches our kids to feel powerful instead of like victims. Research from the National Scientific Council on the Developing Child found that children who have at least one supportive adult in their lives are better able to develop resilience. A mother’s steady presence provides that.
Teach this core value: Rising above our own disappointments and staying hopeful is also a powerful way to teach resilience. The next time your children have a bad day on the field or don’t get what they want, talk through their disappointments with them. Show compassion and empathy for what they’re going through. Then, brainstorm with them for positive steps forward.
3. Self-Respect 
A healthy self-respect will allow your children to say no when they need to. Knowing it’s OK to say no when pressured to do something they don’t want to do validates that their needs are important too. And honoring someone else’s “no” validates that others’ needs are important as well. Healthy boundaries result from respect for self and are essential for a healthy life.
Teach this core value: Kids grow in self-respect when given a chance to rise to a challenge. Giving them chores allows them to contribute to the family and do a job that has visible results. Use one of our free chore charts for kids to help them track their successes. We do want to bolster our children’s self-respect by giving them opportunities to achieve, but we also want them to know that their self-value is there innately, from just being who they are. Helping them embrace these five core beliefs can help them better understand and feel self-respect.
4. Integrity
Integrity is doing the right and honorable thing when no one is watching. It’s being true to our word and being honest about our behaviors even when we’ve messed up. It’s developing a sense of responsibility for our actions. Integrity can guide our children to make better choices when we’re not there.
Teach this core value: Model integrity and point out positive examples of it in your children’s behavior. If our children feel safe admitting their mistakes and aren’t shamed when they get off track, they’ll have a better chance of developing this core value. So if they come to you and say, “It’s my fault. I’m the one who did it,” praise them for their integrity instead of focusing on their mistake.
5. A Strong Work Ethic
For our children to become successful in life, a strong work ethic is essential. It can help them in the classroom, in sports, or in reaching a goal. Developing a belief in a strong work ethic as a core value also gives our children more agency in their lives.
Teach this core value: At dinner, share one challenge you faced and how you worked through it. Let your kids hear that success isn’t just about talent—it’s about showing up, solving problems, and doing your best even when something is difficult. Celebrate when their hard work leads them to success.
6. Wisdom
Having wisdom will help our kids think before they act, assess situations, foresee consequences, and use the knowledge they’ve acquired to determine if a choice is good or bad. Wisdom is more than facts. It’s judgment.
Teach this core value: Work through choices with your children. Model pausing, thinking, and then acting. “Hmm… that looks like a great climbing tree, but do you see that limb that looks kind of broken? If we climb it, it might break. What do you think? Would it be wise for us to climb it?” There’s an old proverb that says wisdom is better than jewels. If your kids are old enough, ask them what they think that means.
7. Dreaming
Having the freedom to dream and imagine encourages a child to tap into their potential. Children will find they are capable of so much when given the opportunity to dream. Dreaming is also a way for children to remain hopeful about life and its possibilities.
Teach this core value: Make dream boards with your kids. Here are some simple instructions to get you started. Be sure to ask your children to think about the kind of people they want to be, not just their career or fun goals (but definitely have them include fun too!). Cheer them on and help them explore their interests. As they get older, help them find a path to their dreams or ways to adjust their dreams.
What are some of the core values you want to teach your kids?
