“Eeek! A new cat Squishmallow!” my daughter squealed. What kid doesn’t love getting a gift? While plushies and board games are great, I’m trying to remind myself—and my kids—that “things” don’t make our house a home. Rather, it’s the stuff we can’t see that fills us up and shapes our lives for better or worse.
We can’t—and probably shouldn’t—give our kids everything they want. But we can give freely to our children what matters most, and it starts at home. No matter where you live or what your house or apartment looks like, there are 7 things your home can be to make it the best environment to raise a child.
1. A Place to Receive Unconditional Love
“I love you.” You might not always feel very loving, but these words are important for your child to hear every day, even on days they drive you crazy. A home where your child receives no-strings-attached love is the best environment to raise a child. You can show love by empathizing with her and supporting her when she’s struggling. And, of course, hugging and cuddling are great ways to show love too! Unconditional love makes your child feel safe and secure wherever she roams in this big world.
2. A Place Where Kids Are Free to Ask Questions
With so much happening in the news and in the hallways at school, kids hear stuff and they’re curious. Even if a question makes you squirm (let’s say, about guns or sex), don’t shy away from them. Answer honestly but age-appropriately. And finish with, “I’m glad you asked.” Being open and willing to engage in conversations like these will keep your kids coming back to you. But if you don’t answer their questions, or only provide black and white answers, they might go elsewhere, including the internet. If you don’t want that, do your best to satisfy their curiosity and remain approachable.
3. A Place Where His Champion Lives
It’s not easy to be positive or uplifting day in and day out. But it’s important for your child to know his value to you. Pediatrician Scott Grant says, “Every kid needs one adult in their life who irrationally believes that they are the best kid in the world.” As you tuck him in at night, remind your child that you love him and you think he’s pretty great. It’s not time to pick apart the mistakes of the day. Let him know you’re glad he’s your kid.
4. A Place to Learn
We are our kids’ first teachers. As your child’s gotten older, you’ve probably moved from teaching letters and numbers to quizzing him on spelling words and multiplication tables. Keep the learning going, but don’t limit the learning to schoolwork. Your child needs to learn boundaries and your family’s values so that he behaves well at school and treats others with respect. The best environment to raise a child is a home where learning takes place every day in one way or another.
5. A Place to Have Fun
Having fun doesn’t have to mean weekly game nights. It can be a spontaneous decision to bake cookies on a weeknight or to snuggle on the couch during a thunderstorm. I want my kids to have good childhood memories and sometimes it takes effort to create them. I’m trying to accept my kids’ invitations to play LEGOS or Among US more often. A happy home is a fun home and the best environment to raise a child. So be intentional—or spontaneous—and go with it.
6. A Place to Find Nourishment for Body and Soul
We’re our kids’ providers. From eating veggies and limiting sugar to encouraging our kids to go outside and play, home is where our kids learn healthy habits. For me, it’s a battle with screens to get my kids to go outside, but I’m trying. I’m also trying to teach my kids faith. In our home, we pray together each night and I’d like to think this feeds another type of hunger.
7. A Place to Feel Safe from Physical or Verbal Assault
Do your kids call each other names? Does one bully the other? Even in jest, insults can add up and do damage. Also, if you invite another child over, make sure they don’t tease your kids, especially younger siblings. The same goes for adult friends or relatives. Kids should feel safe in their homes from verbal or physical abuse. That’s by far the best environment to raise a child.
What else does a home need in order to be the best environment to raise a child?
