Resolutions. Yes, there’s that fresh start feeling, but there’s also a little bit of… pressure. I mean, we want to improve ourselves, but resolutions often get scrapped by February. I think it’s because we find our goals too big to really work them into our lives. This year, I’d like to be more realistic. I’d like to choose some smarter resolutions that’ll actually stick. It might just take a change of mindset. Want to give it a try with me?
Let’s make some tweaks to some common parenting resolutions and see if these ones might become part of our lives, month after month. Here are 6 smarter resolutions you can make for the new year.
1. Instead of: Stop Yelling
If your kid’s like mine, he doesn’t always realize he’s hungry or overtired. And we sometimes lose our cool. We’re human!
New Resolution: Listen more. Focusing on connection is key. If he’s upset, it’s not the best time to connect, but make your move after he’s fed, rested, or had some time alone to calm down. Listening to what bothered or upset him is going to feed your bond, make him feel heard, and will be the better way to respond after a tense moment.
2. Instead of: Limit Screen Time
Sometimes screens are necessary—but does anyone else forget to check in on the kids when we’re enjoying the peace and quiet, and suddenly two hours have gone by?
New Resolution: Encourage the kids to be more active. Come up with a list of alternate ways for the kids to play or be rewarded. Got your homework done? OK, I’ll play catch with you in the back yard for 15 minutes. Need downtime after school? OK, take your scooter out for a ride. It’ll take time to change old habits, but after a couple weeks, you may find the kids’ moods have improved, they sleep better at night, and they have higher self-confidence.
Print out our free Screen Time Contract here!
3. Instead of: Cut Back on Family Obligations
Are you and the kids running on fumes? Before making huge changes to your family calendar, take a breath. A smarter resolution might require looking to see what is or isn’t working.
New Resolution: Focus on the kids’ emotional health and well-being. If the activities on your calendar are wearing everyone down, weed out what can go. But if the kids are thriving with lessons and activities? Find ways to make it easier on you: look into carpooling with another mom, postpone appointments until after the sports season, and play music instead of TV shows before bedtime so the kids aren’t wound up.
4. Instead of: Practice Self-Care
Self-care is super important, but maybe you (like me) need ideas that are more practical than bubble baths and 5 a.m. coffee dates with ourselves.
New Resolution: Set personal boundaries for yourself, and teach your kids through your example. No one has endless amounts of time or energy! I’m learning to be OK with saying, “No, my family has plans that night.” It’s hard to be a good mom when we’re spread too thin. Protecting our time and energy is going to be better for ourselves, and it’ll show our kids how to do the same in an assertive but kind way.
5. Instead of: Enroll My Kid in New Activities
I’m always hunting for the activity that will peak my kids’ interest and get them really hooked. But activities seem to come and go. They haven’t found their “thing” yet.
New Resolution: Embrace downtime and encourage independence. This might be hard for you (as it is for me). But when kids don’t have a list of things to do and get a little bored, it can offer children “an opportunity to experiment with the kinds of pursuits that feel fulfilling and interesting to them,” said Dr. Erin Westgate. When kids have the chance to find things to do themselves, they may uncover a passion you never even thought of.
6. Instead of: Stop Refereeing Sibling Fights
They always pull me into their fights, and I end up sending both to separate rooms to cool off. Everyone leaves in a huff. And then a new day starts, and it happens again.
New Resolution: Teach the kids conflict resolution strategies. Start with empathy and perspective-taking: “How do you think she feels when you take her toy without asking?” Then lead them toward a solution without giving it to them: “Well, if you won’t share, what are you going to do?” Teaching the kids how to solve their problems will put the ball in their court and give them the skills to handle difficult situations without you.
What are some resolutions you can let go of and replace with smarter resolutions?
