My daughter loves rollercoasters, but she didn’t get that from me. No, I already ride my own personal rollercoaster daily: parenting. But despite the stomach-lurching drops, twists, and turns we encounter as our kids grow and change, we have the opportunity to be the steadying force in our kids’ lives. Committing to these 5 parenting goals may not eliminate the worry parenting brings, but it can make the thrill of the ride easier to enjoy.
1. Praise the process.
Last summer, my daughter played fastpitch softball. She struck out many, many times. But by the end of the season, something happened. She was up to bat, hitting one foul ball after another, and her teammates on the bench went crazy, cheering for her. The kindness of those players praising the process touched my heart.
It also taught me something as a parent. It’s better to focus more on the process and less on the result. If we can praise the process, our kids are more likely to develop perseverance, courage, and maybe even enjoy the journey.
2. Affirm your child’s unique character.
My son doesn’t love sports. On the playground, he’d stick to the play structure while other boys played soccer or basketball. It made it hard to make friends. So instead of focusing on what he wasn’t, I tried to make my parenting goal for the year include shifting my focus to my kids’ character.
My son works hard. My daughter is generous. Affirming these characteristics builds their self-worth and shapes who they become as young adults. What great qualities do you see in your kids?
3. Be consistent with discipline and chores.
Easier said than done, I know. As an elementary school mom, I had an especially hard time with this. My kids would apologize, and I’d forget the punishment! But it’s easier if you can keep your parenting goals in mind.
My kids are now teens, and I’ve learned that changing my delivery has helped. I used to say, “Can you please empty the dishwasher?” Now I’ll tell them, “You need to empty the dishwasher.” Would changing your delivery help with cooperation in your home?
4. Lower your voice.
Lowering your voice and trying not to yell is a form of self-control, and mastering this can make us great examples for our kids. None of us is perfect, and there are bound to be times when the kids push us too hard. So maybe the realistic goal here is to push ourselves to hold out longer and longer before blowing up. With persistence, we’ll get better at this over time. Maybe one day we’ll even master the skill, although I personally am still waiting for that day to come.
5. Criticize less, prioritize the relationship more.
Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD. wrote in her book Kid Confidence, “Our connection with our kids is the foundation for real self-esteem.” In 10 or 20 years, we want our kids to enjoy visiting and spending time with us, not looking at our home as a place where they felt picked apart. By turning our focus away from criticism, we’re building up both our relationship and our child.
To help your kids with goal setting this year, download our free Brilliant Goals for Kids Chart!
What other parenting goals do you have?
