Clay and I go on a “State of Our Union” date every January. It’s when we grab a coffee (or a glass of wine), look back on the previous 12 months, and plan for our future. And we laugh (and sometimes mourn) together. Through these annual talks, we’ve uncovered new dreams (like pursuing a PhD), addressed recurring problems, and aligned our hearts and minds for the next year. It’s one of the best traditions we started for our marriage.
Taking the time to reflect on your marriage together can be incredibly powerful for any couple. You get to celebrate your wins and set intentions for the future. Start your own annual tradition by picking from these 31 questions to ask your husband (and he can ask you, too!).
Questions About Your Relationship
1. How do you hope to see our relationship grow in the next year? What are some steps we can take to get there?
2. How do you feel about the way we’ve split responsibilities and roles? Are there any new responsibilities you’d like to take on or share differently?
3. Is there a specific argument we’ve had that still bothers you? What can we do to heal?
4. Do you see any recurring patterns in our fights? Do the same issues keep coming up? What could we do differently to resolve them and move forward?
5. Can I do something to make you feel more loved and appreciated in the coming year?
6. Are we cuddling and touching enough day-to-day, or do you want more (or less) of that?
7. What’s your favorite thing about our sex life? What makes you feel really loved? What’s something you wish we would do more of? (Psst! Our Romantic Questions for Couples printable offers you even more questions to ask your husband!)
8. Do you think there are topics we avoid talking about? What are they, and why do you think we do?
9. Do I express appreciation and love for you often enough and in the way you need? What do I do well? What can I do better?
10. In recent memory, what has been your favorite time when just hung out and talked with each other without distractions? How can we build more of those moments into our routines?
11. What’s one thing we could do to improve how we talk to each other?
12. What’s been your favorite memory we shared as a couple this past year? Ten years from now, how would you like to answer that question?
Questions to Ask Your Husband About Parenting
13. What do you look forward to the most about parenting a ___ year old? What scares you?
14. What were some of your favorite memories with the kids this year?
15. What do you think was our biggest parenting win this past year? Where do you think we missed the mark? What did we learn from both of those situations? How could you show yourself more grace as a dad?
16. How do you think we handled discipline as a team? What could we do differently this year?
17. What area of our child’s life do you think needs more of our attention or guidance this year?
18. What’s one thing you’d like to focus on as a father in the coming year? How can I best support you?
19. What’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself this year as a parent?
20. What’s one thing we’ve done as parents that you’d like to continue doing? What do you think we should stop doing?
21. How do you think our individual strengths as parents complemented each other this year?
22. How do you hope our children will remember their childhood when they grow up? What can we do this year to create that kind of childhood?
23. When our child graduates, what kind of relationship do you want to have with him? What plans or steps can you take now to get there?
Goals and Dreams Questions to Ask Your Husband
24. What was the most fulfilling accomplishment for you last year?
25. Is there a new skill or hobby you’d like to pursue?
26. What’s one place you’d love for us to travel to together as a couple? What about as a family?
27. How do you hope to see your career evolving in the next few years?
28. What new experience would you like us to share?
29. How do you want to grow in your faith this year? How can I best support you?
30. How do you envision our life together five or ten years from now? What about when our kids graduate from high school?
31. Do you see yourself staying on the same career path? If you could switch careers tomorrow, what would you want to do?
Can you think of any other questions to ask your husband on your “State of Our Union” date?
